| |25| T || _over_ @ Adam | | |26| F || @ waz the @ | * * * * * | |27| S || fust man @ | | |28| G || _cooler_ @ @ that | The devil iz a mean kuss, he | |29| M || @ @ kissed a | never keeps hiz own promises, | |30| T || woman @ @ @ | but alwus makes us keep ours. | |31| W || | | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ _SEPTEMBER MONOGRAPH._ September iz named after "Septus" which thrashed out into Amerikan, means seven. I wouldn't take 500 dollars for the latin i know, and i don't kno mutch nuther. Sept. iz a lakadaisikal month, mello az the dekayed side of a punkin, and as sensitive az a boarding school miss, during her fust quarter in french. Natur makes her will this month--hogs root violently--birds hold convenshuns, and adjourn down south--tree toads boost each other up trees and warble sum anthems--katydids chew musick and spit it out freely, and bull frogs post their books. _MORE ADVICE TEW YOUNG SPORTSMEN._ In shooting at a deer that looks like a calf, always aim so az tew miss it if it iz a calf, and to hit it if it iz a deer. * * * * * In fishing for krabs, use yure fingers for bait, yu kan feel them when they fust bite. * * * * * Dont fire at a bumble bee on the wing, not till he settles, then take good aim, and knok him endways. * * * * * In bobbing for Eels, use a raw potato, yu may not bag much Eels, but yu kan bag a bob, that yu kan hand down tew yure ancestors untarnished. [Illustration] Thare are but fu sights in this life, more sublime, and pathetick than to see a poor, but virtiuous yung man, struggling--with a mustash.= It iz thus, Josh Billings. [Illustration] I hav seen men so fond ov argument, that they would dispute with a guide board, at the forks ov a kuntry road, about the distance to the next town.= What fools, Josh Billings 30 Days. SEPTEMBER. 1870. Q.--How fast duz sound travel? @ @ @ @ A.--The sound ov a dinner horn travels one mile in a seckond. [Illustration] _This month pull flax, And teeth that ake. Lay in bees wax, And emptins kake._