To make boarding-house hash, take a little ov every thing, a good deal ov nothing, and throw in a chunk ov sumthing; jam to a mux, cook over a kold fire, season with hair pins, and sarve it up on the jump. * * * * * To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. * * * * * To find the solid contents ov a mule's hind legg, feel ov it clussly. 31 Days. MARCH. 1871. Q.--Who iz the coming man? A.--The female suffragist. [Illustration] _Dear girls and boys, take mi advice, And don't go on the rotten ice; For many a gal has fell chuck in, And thus has ketched her final ducking._ +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | @| @ || _History_ | _CAPER SAUCE._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| W || _Streaks ov wind_ | Natur never makes enny blunders; | | 2| T || @ haul in yure | when she makes a phool, | | 3| F || close line @ @ | she means it. | | 4| S || | | | 5| G || @ _windy_ @ @ | * * * * * | | 6| M || de gustibus non | | | 7| T || et cetera @ @ | Thare iz sum pholks in this | | 8| W || @ _skey overkast_ @ | world who spend their whole lives | | 9| T || | a hunting after righteousness, and | |10| F || ignorance iz bliss @ | kant find enny time tew praktiss | |11| S || @ bring out yure | it. | |12| G || geese @ @ @ | | |13| M || @ _cold wind_ @ | * * * * * | |14| T || | Human happiness iz like the | |15| W || and let them March | Hottentot language, enny boddy | |16| T || _windy windness_ | kan talk it well enuff, but thare | |17| F || @ use Higinbottoms | aint but phew kan understand it. | |18| S || | | |19| G || pills @ @ @ | * * * * * | |20| M || @ _wet rain_ @ | | |21| T || they are az mild | Grate transgreshuns seem tew | |22| W || az a juice harp @ | baptize themselfs,--if the Devil | |23| T || John Rogers died | had only bin gilty ov pettit | |24| F || 1683 @ @ | larceny, he never would hav bin | |25| S || _sum more wind_ @ | heard ov agin. | |26| G || he fell in the | | |27| M || fire @ @ @ | * * * * * | |28| T || @ _8_ now tap for | |