Yure idee about the friendship ov the world is 4 miles tew leeward ov the channel; friendship is like the magnetic needle, thare is certin causes that will make it vary sideways sumtimes, but when it settles down tew stiddy work it alwus pints tew the pole--and the fellow that owns the needle owns the pole. And as for human happiness, Nimrod, don't hunt for it, and yu may acksidentally cum across sum ov it. Hunting happiness is a good deal like hunting crows; when yu haint got yure gun with yu, yu kan alwas git a grate deal nearer tew the crows. XXXV. NUZE CUTS FROM OUR EXCHANGES. The "_Shanghi Dispatch_" advertises for "a Devil, not over 14 years ov good moral karacter.--References exchanged.--The young Devil will be expekted tew board with his father, espeshily during the cold weather." * * * * * The "_Nevada Brick_" says, "thare will be a total eklips of the moon, next month, visibel with the naked eye, only tew the subskribers ov the "_Brick_." Send in your subskriptions for the year at onst." * * * * * The "_Mock Turtle Bulletin_" learns "that onions in his lokality won't be more than half a crop, owing tew the number ov akers sewed, and the small size of the seed," and advises hiz patrons "tew lay in their assyfedity now, for the winter, while it iz low." * * * * * The "_Mohunk Ledger_" "highsts the name ov John tyler, solitary and alone, for the next president, and gives hiz reasons."--(We doubt the polisy of this nominashun, for he haz bin run into the ground onse already.) * * * * * The "_Mutton Hollow Day Book & People's Register_" thus reports the acksident, ov a moral karacter, on the Peuterville railroad. "The konduktor ov the 10.15 train going east, when he got tew the end ov his route, had 19 dollars he couldn't account for. This iz the fust acksident ov the kind, ever diskovered on the road, and we kan assure the traveling publik, will probably be the last." * * * * * The "_Reedsburgh Journal_" "learns from good authority, that the wife ov a laborer, in that vicinity, gave birth tew six fine healthy children," and then adds, "but not awl tew onst." * * * * * The "_Olive Branch_" a black republikan sheet, sez, "the grasshoppers, having et up everything green thing in our naberhood, hav pitched onto things blue, sech az whetstones, and demokrats, and are dieing oph bi the thousands, in consequentz." The "_Oakville Banner_" don't beleave in the above akount, and adds, "the fackt that the editor of the "_Olive Branch_" still lives, iz proof enuff that the green things aint all destroyed yet."