In the colums of the "_Weekly Bred_" of date Oct. 16, we see it announced, that "the sorrel Hen ov deakon Abijeir Phillips lade an egg which weighed, after it waz kold, 7 pounds with an affidavit tew it, before Square Sturgiss, justis of peace." And then the editor goes on to say, "the hen haz bin dewing better ever sinse."--(We should think it would be hard work for her tew do mutch better.) * * * * * The "_Monthly Reckord_" learns, thru her country correspondent, "that the maple sugar krop will be bigger next year, than for the last 90 years, and that we shall have a dreadful hard winter, for the geese are getting reddy; he never knu them so tuff tew bile, as they are this fall." * * * * * The "_Perary Flower_" cums tew us with a long and Abel artikle on punkin pize. The editor sez, "he waz early from konnekticut, and waz born on punkin pi, and would be willing tew die on them almost, with nutmeg in them. He remembers distinktly, how hiz grate grandmother used tew mix them up, and how he used tew dip into the mix, on the sli." He further winds up bi saying, "that it iz az natural for a yankee tew stand on a punkin pi, az it iz for a setter dorg tew sett on a woodcock, or a Frenchman tew point on a frog's hind legs." (I agree with this feller fully; i waz onse from Nu England myself, and punkin pize waz the fust real sass ov mi boyhood, and at this late time ov day, seems to be the principle swivel in the chain, that binds me tew the land whare basswood punkin seeds, and wooden nutmegs, are grown only for exportation.) XXXVI. DEAD BEATS. No man ever jumps az fur az he kan, but once. If the wicked really stand on slippery places, the best thing the rightyus kan do is to keep oph from the ice. Thare is no religion in simply travelling 4 miles an hour, nor enny actual sin in a 2.40 gate. "Position is everything;" position of a comma, for instanse. "Thare is a divinity that shapes our ends rough, hew them as we will." If I was called upon to say how I thought the Devil looked and ackted, i should kompare him to the man who sells rum by the glass, and never drinks enny himself. Wits are like hornets,--they hav but few intimates. Thiefs are remarkabel for their taking _ways_; Ragmen for their light _weighs_; Dairymaids for their sweet _wheys_; Boston for her _byways_. Courting,--home on a furlough. I maid up mi mind, more than 6 months ago, that this world wa'n't made for phools; and when i see a man determined tew go to the devil, i generly let him went. Crippels ar always cross; thay ar nature's libels. I konsider marrying for money no better than stealing it. I hav seen sum awful bad throte disseases completely cured in 3 days by simply jineing a temprance sosiety. A pun, tew be irresistable, don't ought to flavor ov malis aforethought; but wants tew cum sudden and apt, like a rat out ov his hole.