Feminist fiction, Australian; Sex role -- Fiction; Short stories, Australian; Women -- Fiction
Deep in through ages of convention this primeval trait burns,--an
untamable quantity that may be concealed but is never eradicated by
culture, the keynote of woman's witchcraft and woman's strength. But
it is there, sure enough, and each woman is conscious of it in her
truth-telling hours of quiet self-scrutiny; and each woman in God's
wide world will deny it, and each woman will help another to conceal
it,--for the woman who tells the truth and is not a liar about these
things is untrue to her sex and abhorrent to man, for he has fashioned
a model on imaginary lines, and he has said, 'So I would have you!'
and every woman is an unconscious liar, for so man loves her. And when
a Strindberg or a Nietzsche arises and peers into the recesses of her
nature and dissects her ruthlessly, the men shriek out louder than the
women, because the truth is at all times unpalatable, and the gods they
have set up are dear to them--"
"Dreaming, or speering into futurity? You have the look of a seer. I
believe you are half a witch!" And he drops his gray-clad figure on the
turf; he has dropped his drawl long ago in midsummer.
"Is not every woman that? Let us hope I'm for my friends a white one."
"A-ah! Have you many friends?"
"That is a query! If you mean many correspondents, many persons who
send me Christmas cards, or remember my birthday, or figure in my
address book,--no."
"Well, grant I don't mean that!"
"Well, perhaps, yes. Scattered over the world, if my death were belled
out, many women would give me a tear, and some a prayer; and many men
would turn back a page in their memory and give me a kind thought,
perhaps a regret, and go back to their work with a feeling of having
lost something that they never possessed. I am a creature of moments.
Women have told me that I came into their lives just when they needed
me; men had no need to tell me, I felt it. People have needed me more
than I them. I have given freely whatever they craved from me in the
way of understanding or love; I have touched sore places they showed
me, and healed them,--but they never got at me. I have been for myself,
and helped myself, and borne the burden of my own mistakes. Some
have chafed at my self-sufficiency, and have called me fickle,--not
understanding that they gave me nothing, and that when I had served
them their moment was ended, and I was to pass on. I read people
easily, I am written in black letter to most--"
"To your husband?"
"He," quickly,--"we will not speak of him; it is not loyal."
"Do not I understand you a little?"
"You do not misunderstand me."
"That is something."
"It is much!"
"Is it?" searching her face. "It is not one grain of sand in the desert
that stretches between you and me, and you are as impenetrable as a
sphinx at the end of it. This," passionately, "is my moment, and what
have you given me?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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