Life in the sick-room : $b EssaysMartineau, Harriet
Science
Life in the sick-room : $b Essays
Martineau, Harriet
Conduct of life; Sick
It is inconceivable to me that our moral sense can ever be gratified by
anything in our own moral state. It must be more offended by our own
sins and weaknesses than by all the other sin and weakness in the world,
in proportion as the evil is more profoundly known to it, and more
nakedly disgusting, because it is stripped of the allowances and
palliations which are admissible in all other cases. And this disgust is
not compensated for by a corresponding satisfaction in our own good; for
the very best good we can ever recognise in ourselves falls so far short
of our own conceptions, so fails to satisfy the requisitions of the
moral sense, that it can afford no gratification. A conscience which
can enjoy itself on its own resources, must be of a very low degree--I
should say of a spurious nature. In the highest state of health that I
can conceive of--health spiritual and physical--I believe the function
of the moral sense to be to delight itself in good wherever it is to be
found, (and no wise person will look for it within himself,) to keep
watch and ward against evil, and to cherish lowliness at home by its
incessant consciousness of the imperfection there; an imperfection so
keenly felt by an enlightened and accurate conscience, as to cause a
wholesome going abroad for interests and gratifications, so that ease
may be found in self-forgetfulness. The necessity which so many feel of
a relief from their disappointed conscience--of adventitious merits on
which to rely in the failure of their own--of a saving interposition
between their own imperfections and the requisitions of God and duty;
this prevalent need is an unanswerable rebuke to the presumption which
talks of “the happiness of an approving conscience.” If it is thus in
the season of vigour, health, and self-command, how inexpressibly absurd
is the mistake of bringing such a topic as consolation to the sick and
sequestered!--to the sick, whose whole heart is faint, and the mental
frame disordered, more or less, in proportion as the body is jaded and
the nerves unstrung; and to the sequestered, who perforce devour their
own hearts, and find them the bitterest food! Why, one of the most
painful trials of long sickness and seclusion is, that all old pains,
all past moral sufferings, are renewed and magnified; that in sleepless
nights, and especially on waking in the morning, every old sin and
folly, and even the most trifling error, rises up anew, however long ago
repented of and forgiven, and, in the activity of ordinary life,
forgotten. Any sort of ghost is more easily laid than this kind. Though
their “brains were out” long years ago, they continue to come--they
present themselves in defiance of all--even the most sacred, exorcisms;
so that it becomes one of the duties of the sick to bear their presence
with composure, and cease to struggle for their exclusion. In the midst
of this experience, to have one’s friends come, and desire one to look
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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