English drama -- 20th century; English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
He avoided the company of Gay and Fletton and Partington; they had
become odious to him, and their conversation, when he could bring
himself to listen to it, was, somehow, almost incomprehensible. He
would sit for hours alone in his study; not working--for he could not
understand the mathematical problems on which he had been engaged
before the fateful day in the quadrangle--but reading novels and the
poetry of Mrs. Browning, and at intervals writing something rather
ecstatic of his own. After a long preparatory screwing up of his
courage, he dared at last to send a fag with a note to Francis, asking
him to tea; and when Francis rather frigidly refused, he actually
burst into tears. He had not cried like that since he was a child.
He became suddenly very religious. He would spend an hour on his knees
every night, praying, praying with frenzy. He mortified the flesh with
fasting and watching. He even went so far as to flagellate himself--or
at least tried to; for it is very difficult to flagellate yourself
adequately with a cane in a room so small that any violent gesture
imperils the bric-à-brac. He would pass half the night stark naked, in
absurd postures, trying to hurt himself. And then, after the
dolorously pleasant process of self-maceration was over, he used to
lean out of the window and listen to the murmurs of the night and fill
his spirit with the warm velvet darkness of midsummer.
Copthorne-Slazenger, coming back by the late train from town one
night, happened to see his moon-pale face hanging out of window and
was delighted to be able to give him two hundred Greek lines to remind
him that even a member of the Sixth Form requires sleep sometimes.
The fit lasted three weeks. "I can't think what's the matter with you,
Greenow," complained Mr. Skewbauld snufflingly. "You seem incapable or
unwilling to do anything at all. I suspect the cause is constipation.
If only everyone would take a little paraffin every night before going
to bed! . . ." Mr. Skewbauld's self-imposed mission in life
was the propagation of the paraffin habit. It was the universal
panacea--the cure for every ill.
His friends of before the crisis shook their heads and could only
suppose him mad. And then the fit ended as suddenly as it had begun.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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