English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
How many of our beliefs--more serious even than the belief that prawns
revive the tired brain--come to us haphazardly from sources far less
trustworthy than my Uncle Spencer! The most intelligent men will be
found holding opinions about certain things, inculcated in them during
their childhood by nurses or stable-boys. And up to the very end of our
adolescence, and even after, there are for all of us certain admired
beings, whose words sink irresistibly into our minds, generating there
beliefs which reason does not presume to question, and which though
they may be quite out of harmony with all our other opinions persist
along with them without our ever becoming aware of the contradictions
between the two sets of ideas. Thus an emancipated young man, whose
father happens to have been a distinguished Indian civilian, is an
ardent apostle of liberty and self-determination; but insists that the
Indians are and for ever will be completely incapable of governing
themselves. And an art critic, extremely sound on Vlaminck and Marie
Laurencin, will praise as masterly and in the grand manner--and praise
sincerely, for he genuinely finds them so--the works of an artist whose
dim pretentious paintings of the Tuscan landscape used to delight,
because they reminded her of her youth, an old lady, now dead, but whom
as a very young man he greatly loved and admired.
My Uncle Spencer was for me, in my boyhood, one of these admired
beings, whose opinions possess a more than earthly value for the
admiring listener. For years my most passionately cherished beliefs
were his. Those opinions which I formed myself, I held more
diffidently, with less ardour; for they, after all, were only the
fruits of my own judgment and observation, superficial rational
growths; whereas the opinions I had taken from my Uncle Spencer--such
as this belief in the curative properties of prawns--had nothing to do
with my reason, but had been suggested directly into the sub-rational
depths, where they seemed to attach themselves, like barnacles, to the
very keel and bottom of my mind. Most of them, I hope, I have since
contrived to scrape off; and a long, laborious, painful process it has
been. But there are still, I dare say, a goodly number of them left, so
deeply ingrained and grown in, that it is impossible for me to be aware
of them. And I shall go down to my grave making certain judgments,
holding certain opinions, regarding certain things and actions in a
certain way--and the way, the opinions, the judgments will not be mine,
but my Uncle Spencer’s; and the obscure chambers of my mind will to the
end be haunted by his bright, erratic, restless ghost.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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