Little rays of moonshineHerbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
General
Little rays of moonshine
Herbert, A. P. (Alan Patrick)
English essays -- 20th century; English wit and humor
No, you must not neglect the Preface; and you must not neglect the
Appendix on Hotels. As sometimes happens in works of a philanthropic
character, Mr. Bradshaw’s Appendix has a human charm that is lacking
in his treatment of his principal theme, the arrival and departure
of trains. To the careful student it reveals also a high degree of
organization among his collaborators, the hotel-managers. It is
obvious, for example, that at Bournemouth there must be at least one
hotel which has the finest situation on the south coast. Indeed one
would expect to find that there was more than one. But no; Bournemouth,
exceptionally fortunate in having at once the most select hotel on the
south coast, the largest and best-appointed hotel on the south coast
and the largest and most up-to-date hotel on the south coast, has
positively only one which has the finest position on the south coast.
Indeed, there is only one of these in the whole of England, though
there are two which have the finest position on the east coast.
How is it, we wonder, that with so much variation on a single theme
such artistic restraint is achieved? It is clear, I think, that before
they send in their manuscripts the hotel-managers must meet somewhere
and agree together the exact terms of their contributions to the book.
“The George” agrees that for the coming year “The Crown” shall have the
“finest cuisine in England,” provided “The George” may have “the most
charming situation imaginable,” and so on. I should like to be at one
of those meetings.
This is the only theory which accounts for the curious phrases we
find so frequently in the text: “_Acknowledged_ to be the finest”;
“_Admittedly_ in the best position.” Who is it that acknowledges or
admits these things? It must be the other managers at these annual
meetings. Yes, the restraint of the collaborators is wonderful, and in
one point only has it broken down. There are no fewer than seventeen
hotels with an Unrivalled Situation, and two of these are at Harrogate.
For a small place like the British Isles it seems to me that this is
too many.
For the rest, what imagery, what exaltation we find in this Appendix!
Dazed with imagined beauty we pass from one splendid haunt to another.
One of them has _three_ golf-courses of its own; several are _replete_
with every comfort (and is not “replete” the perfect epithet?). Here is
a seductive one “on the sea-edge,” and another whose principal glory
is its sanitary certificate. Another stands on the spot where Tennyson
received his inspiration for the _Idylls of the King_, and leaves it at
that. In such a spot even “cuisine” is negligible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account