Another friend, and the last whom I shall name, was a young man named
Clark. He was lame, and had been so from childhood. His father was a
tradesman, working hard from early morning till late at night, and
burdened with a number of children. The boy Richard, shut out from the
companionship of his fellows, had a great love of books. When he left
school his father did not know what to do with him—in fact there was only
one occupation open to him, and that was clerical work of one kind or
another. At last he got a place in a house in Fleet Street, which did a
large business in those days in sending newspapers into the country. His
whole occupation all day long was to write addresses, and for this he
received twenty-five shillings a week, his hours being from nine o’clock
till seven. The office in which he sat was crowded, and in order to
squeeze the staff into the smallest space, rent being dear, a gallery had
been run round the wall about four feet from the ceiling. This was
provided with desks and gas lamps, and up there Clark sat, artificial
light being necessary four days out of five. He came straight from the
town in which his father lived to Fleet Street, and once settled in it
there seemed no chance of change for the better. He knew what his
father’s struggles were; he could not go back to him, and he had not the
energy to attempt to lift himself. It is very doubtful too whether he
could have succeeded in achieving any improvement, whatever his energy
might have been. He had got lodgings in Newcastle Street, and to these
he returned in the evening, remaining there alone with his little
library, and seldom moving out of doors. He was unhealthy
constitutionally, and his habits contributed to make him more so.
Everything which he saw which was good seemed only to sharpen the
contrast between himself and his lot, and his reading was a curse to him
rather than a blessing. I sometimes wished that he had never inherited
any love whatever for what is usually considered to be the Best, and that
he had been endowed with an organisation coarse and commonplace, like
that of his colleagues. If he went into company which suited him, or
read anything which interested him, it seemed as if the ten hours of the
gallery in Fleet Street had been made thereby only the more
insupportable, and his habitual mood was one of despondency, so that his
fellow clerks who knew his tastes not unnaturally asked what was the use
of them if they only made him wretched; and they were more than ever
convinced that in their amusements lay true happiness. Habit, which is
the saviour of most of us, the opiate which dulls the otherwise
unbearable miseries of life, only served to make Clark more sensitive.
The monotony of that perpetual address-copying was terrible. He has told
me with a kind of shame what an effect it had upon him—that sometimes for
days he would feed upon the prospect of the most childish trifle because
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