Humorous stories, American; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; War stories, American
Enter Annie, absorbed in her pamphlet—does not at first see
Margaret.
ANNIE. (_Memorizing: Er liess mich gestern früh rufen, und sagte mir
dass er einen sehr unangenehmen Brief von Ihrem Lehrer erhalten hatte.
Repeats twice aloud, then to herself, briskly moving her lips._)
M. (_Still not seeing her sister._) Wie geht es Ihrem Herrn
Schwiegervater? Es freut mich sehr, dass Ihre Frau Mutter wieder wohl
ist. (_Repeats. Then mouths in silence._)
(_Annie repeats her sentence a couple of times aloud; then looks up,
working her lips, and discovers Margaret._) Oh, you here! (_Running to
her._) O lovey-dovey, dovey-lovey, I’ve got the gr-reatest news! Guess,
guess, guess! You’ll never guess in a hundred thousand million years—and
more!
M. Oh, tell me, tell me, dearie; don’t keep me in agony.
A. Well, I will. What—do—you—think? _They’re_ here!
M. Wh-a-t! Who? When? Which? Speak!
A. Will and George!
M. Annie Alexandra Victoria Stephenson, what _do_ you mean!
A. As sure as guns!
M. (_Spasmodically unarming and kissing her._) ’Sh! don’t use such
language. O darling, say it again!
A. As sure as guns!
M. I don’t mean that! Tell me again, that—
A. (_Springing up and waltzing about the room._) They’re here—in this
very village—to learn German—for three months! Es sollte mich sehr
freuen wenn Sie—
M. (_Joining in the dance._) Oh, it’s just too lovely for anything!
(_Unconsciously memorizing_:) Es wäre mir lieb wenn Sie morgen mit mir
in die Kirche gehen könnten, aber ich kann selbst nicht gehen, weil ich
Sonntags gewöhnlich krank bin. Juckhe!
A. (_Finishing some unconscious memorizing._)—morgen Mittag bei mir
speisen könnten. Juckhe! Sit down and I’ll tell you all I’ve heard.
(_They sit._) They’re here, and under that same odious law that fetters
us—our tongues, I mean; the metaphor’s faulty, but no matter. They can
go out, and see people, only on condition that they hear and speak
German, and German only.
M. Isn’t—that—too lovely!
A. And they’re coming to see us!
M. Darling! (_Kissing her._) But are you sure?
A. Sure as guns—Gatling guns!
M. ’Sh! don’t child, it’s schrecklich! Darling—you aren’t mistaken?
A. As sure as g—batteries!
They jump up and dance a moment—then—
M. (_With distress._) But, Annie dear!—_we_ can’t talk German—and
neither can they!
A. (_Sorrowfully._) I didn’t think of that.
M. How cruel it is! What can we do?
A. (_After a reflective pause, resolutely._) Margaret—we’ve _got_ to.
M. Got to what?
A. Speak German.
M. Why, how, child?
A. (_Contemplating her pamphlet with earnestness._) I can tell you one
thing. Just give me the blessed privilege: just hinsetzen Will Jackson
here in front of me and I’ll talk German to him as long as this
Meisterschaft holds out to burn.
M. (_Joyously._) Oh, what an elegant idea! You certainly have got a mind
that’s a mine of resources, if ever anybody had one.
A. I’ll skin this Meisterschaft to the last sentence in it!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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