Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
General
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
BRIAN (_moving to_ R. _of table_ L.C.). All right, tell me how much you
want me to earn in a year, and I'll earn it.
GEORGE (_hedging_). It isn't merely a question of money. I just mention
that as one thing--one of the important things. (GEORGE _crosses to_
BRIAN _who backs towards_ DINAH.) In addition to that, I think you are
both too young to marry. (DINAH _stamps her foot_.) I don't think you
know your own minds (DINAH _kneels dejectedly on settee_ R.), and I am
not at all persuaded that, with what I venture to call your outrageous
tastes----
DINAH. Oh!
GEORGE You and my niece will live happily together. (_Pause. Crossing up
to writing-table, sits_.) Just because she thinks she loves you, Dinah
may persuade herself now that she agrees with all you say and do, but she
has been properly brought up in an honest English country household--
(DINAH _throws up her arms and buries her face in her hands on piano_)
and--er--she--well, in short, I cannot at all approve of any engagement
between you. (_Getting up_.) Olivia, if this Mr.--er--Pim comes, I shall
be down at the farm You might send him along to me.
(_He walks towards the windows up_ L.)
BRIAN (_moving up_ R., _followed by_ DINAH; _indignantly_). Is there any
reason why I shouldn't marry a girl who has been properly brought up?
GEORGE. I think you know my views, Strange.
(DINAH, _disappointed, crosses down_ R. _again to below table_ R.C.)
OLIVIA. George, wait a moment, dear. We can't quite leave it like this.
GEORGE. I have said all I want to say on the subject.
(DINAH _sits on settee_ R.)
OLIVIA. Yes, darling, but I haven't begun to say all that _I_ want to say
on the subject.
GEORGE (_crossing down to back of table_ L.C.). Of course, if you have
anything to say, Olivia, I will listen to it; but I don't know that this
is quite the time--(OLIVIA _makes a marked movement as she is sewing the
curtains_), or that you have chosen--(_looking darkly at the curtains_)--
quite the occupation likely to--er--endear your views to me.
DINAH (_mutinously, rising quickly and crossing to stool on which she
kneels and looks up into_ GEORGE'S _face and bangs the table_). I may as
well tell you, Uncle George, that I have got a good deal to say, too.
(BRIAN _crosses down to her_ R., _gingerly pulling her sleeve, trying to
restrain her_.)
OLIVIA. Yes, darling. I can guess what you are going to say, Dinah, and I
think you had better keep it for the moment.
DINAH (_meekly, backing to_ R. _below_ BRIAN _and to_ L. _of table_
R.C.). Yes, Aunt Olivia.
OLIVIA. Brian, you might take her outside for a walk. I expect you have
plenty to talk about.
(BRIAN _and_ DINAH _move up_ R.)
GEORGE (_following them up_). Now mind, Strange, no love-making. I put
you on your honour about that.
BRIAN (_looking round dubiously at_ DINAH). I'll do my best to avoid it,
sir.
DINAH (_cheekily_). May I take his arm if we go up a hill?
OLIVIA. I'm sure you'll know how to behave--both of you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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