Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
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Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
OLIVIA. A threat? Oh, no, George. But I was just wondering if you love me
as much as Brian loves Dinah. You do love me?
GEORGE (_from his heart_). Of course I do, old girl.
OLIVIA. You're sure it's not just my pretty face that attracts you. Love
which is based upon mere outward appearances cannot result in lasting
happiness--as one of our thinkers has observed. (_Moving down to settee_
R.)
GEORGE. Why should you doubt my love? You can't pretend that we haven't
been happy together. (OLIVIA _sits on settee_ R.) I've--(_taking a chair
from_ L. _of table_ R.C. _brings it down to_ L. _of_ OLIVIA) I've been a
good pal to you, eh? We--we suit each other, old girl.
OLIVIA. Do we?
GEORGE (_sitting_). Well, of course we do.
OLIVIA. I wonder. When two people of our age think of getting married,
one wants to be quite sure that there is real community of ideas between
them. Supposing that after we have been married some years we found
ourselves getting estranged from each other upon such questions as
Dinah's future, or the comparatively trivial matter like the right colour
for a curtain, or the advice to be given to a friend who had innocently
contracted a bigamous marriage. Think how bitterly we should regret our
hasty plunge into a matrimony which was no true partnership, whether of
tastes or ideas or even of consciences. (_With a sigh_.) Ah me!
GEORGE (_turning to her quickly_). Unfortunately for your argument,
Olivia, I can answer you out of your own mouth. You seem to have--
(_laughing_)--forgotten what you said this morning in the case of--er--
young Strange.
OLIVIA (_with exaggerated reproach_). Oh, but is it quite fair, George,
to drag up _what was said this morning_?
GEORGE (_enjoying his apparent success_). Ha ha! You've brought it on
yourself.
OLIVIA. I?... Well, and what did I say this morning?
GEORGE. You said that it was quite enough that Strange was a gentleman
and in love with Dinah for me to let them marry each other.
OLIVIA. Oh! But is that enough, George?
GEORGE (_triumphantly_). Well, you said so.
OLIVIA (_meekly_). Well, George, if you think so too, I'm quite willing
to risk it.
GEORGE (_kindly, rising and putting back chair up_ R.C.). Ha ha, my dear!
You see!
OLIVIA. Then you _do_ think it's enough?
GEORGE. I--er--yes, yes, I--I think so.
OLIVIA (_rising and going to him and putting her hands on his
shoulders_). My darling one! How jolly! Then we can have a double
wedding.
GEORGE (_astonished_). A double one!
OLIVIA. Yes, you and me, Brian and Dinah.
GEORGE (_firmly, and taking her hands from his shoulders_). Now look
here, Olivia, understand once and for all, I am not to be blackmailed
into giving my consent to Dinah's engagement. Neither blackmailed nor
tricked. (_Crossing to_ L. _below settee_.) Our marriage has nothing
whatever to do with Dinah's.
OLIVIA. No, dear, I quite understand. They may take place about the same
time, but they have nothing whatever to do with each other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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