Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
General
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
OLIVIA (_reproachfully_). Yes, Mr. Pim, all your visits here to-day have
been very interesting.
PIM. Oh, very interesting, very interesting, You see, Mrs. Marden, when I
made my first appearance here this morning I was received by--Miss Diana,
who----
OLIVIA. Dinah!
PIM. I beg your pardon?
OLIVIA. Dinah. Her name is Dinah!
PIM (_pauses_). You're quite right. Dinah--oh yes. Miss Dinah, yes. She
was in--er--rather a communicative mood, and I suppose by way of passing
the time she mentioned that before your marriage--to Mr. Marden you had
been a Mrs.--er----
OLIVIA. Telworthy.
PIM. Telworthy, yes, of course. She also mentioned Australia. Now by some
curious process of the brain--which strikes me as decidedly curious--when
I was trying to recollect--the name of the poor fellow on the boat, whom
you will remember I had also met in Australia, the fact that this other
name was also stored in my memory, a name equally peculiar--this fact I
say----
OLIVIA (_seeing that the sentence is rapidly going to pieces_). Yes, I
quite understand.
PIM. I blame myself, I blame myself entirely.
OLIVIA. Oh, you mustn't do that, Mr. Pim.
PIM. Oh, but, Mrs. Marden, can you forgive me for the needless distress I
have caused you to-day?
OLIVIA. Oh, you mustn't worry about that, please.
PIM. And you will tell your husband--you'll break the news to him?
OLIVIA (_amazed_). Oh, yes! I'll break the _news_ to him.
PIM (_rising and holding out his hand_). Well then, I think before he
comes back I will say good-bye and--er----
OLIVIA (_rising_). Just a moment, Mr. Pim. Let us have it quite clear
this time. You never knew my husband Jacob Telworthy?
PIM. No!
OLIVIA. You never met him in Australia?
PIM. No!
OLIVIA. You never saw him on the boat?
PIM. No!
OLIVIA. And nothing _whatever happened to him at Marseilles?_
PIM. No!
OLIVIA. Is that right?
PIM (_hesitating and thinking it out very deeply_). I think so.
OLIVIA. Very well, then, since his death was announced in Australia six
years ago, he is presumably still dead?
PIM. Undoubtedly.
OLIVIA (_holding out her hand with a charming smile_). Then good-bye,
Mr. Pim, and thank you so much for--for all your trouble.
PIM. Not at all, Mrs. Marden. I blame myself, I blame myself entirely.
OLIVIA. Oh! You mustn't do that.
(_Going up centre_ PIM _meets_ DINAH, _who enters from the window
up L., crosses at back of writing-table and comes down R. of him_).
(DINAH is followed by BRIAN, who is on her R.).
DINAH. Hullo, there's Mr. Pim. (_To_ BRIAN.)
PIM (_nervously looking at the door in case_ MR. MARDEN _should
come in_). Yes, yes I--er--
DINAH. Oh, Mr. Pim, you mustn't run away without even saying
how-do-you-do! Are you staying to tea?
PIM (_looking off at staircase nervously_). I'm afraid I--
OLIVIA. Mr. Pim has to hurry away, Dinah. You mustn't keep him.
DINAH. Well, but you'll come back again?
PIM. I fear that I am only a passer-by, Miss--er--Dinah.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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