* * * * * "What an awful voice that man's got!" said the manager, who was listening to the throaty tenor. "Call that a voice," said his friend; "it's a disease!" * * * * * A PRIVATE BOX.--A sentry box. * * * * * [Illustration: "You can't sit there, mum. These here seats are reserved." "You don't seem to be aware that I'm one of the directors' wives!" "And if you was his _only_ wife, mum, I couldn't let you sit here."] * * * * * During the dull season a certain manager has issued such a number of his autographs in order to ensure the proper filling of his house that he has in playfulness conferred on it the nickname of the ordertorium. * * * * * WHAT MANAGERS, ACTRESSES, AND SPECTATORS ALL WANT.--A good dressing. * * * * * CHRISTMAS MUSIC FOR THEATRES.--The "waits" between the acts. * * * * * What we want for the British drama generally is not so much native talent as imagi-native talent. * * * * * AT THE MUSIC HALLS.--The birds that fly by night--the acro-bats. * * * * * [Illustration: CONFRÈRES.--_Master Jacky (who took part in some school theatricals last term,--suddenly, to eminent tragedian who has come to call)._ "I say, you know--I act!"] * * * * * [Illustration: A PROP OF THE DRAMA "What, back already, Archie! Was it a dull piece, then?" "Don't know. Didn't stop to see. Just looked round stalls and boxes, and didn't see a soul I knew!--so I came away."] * * * * * [Illustration: SHOWING THAT SOMETIMES IT IS GOOD FOR A COBBLER _NOT_ TO STICK TO HIS LAST. _Fair Matron._ "I remember your acting '_Sir Anthony_,' _years_ ago, when I was a girl, Sir Charles! You did it splendidly!" _The Great Mathematician._ "Ah, would you believe it, that bit of acting brought me more compliments than anything I ever did?" _Fair Matron._ "I should _think_ so, indeed!"] * * * * * THE COMPANY THAT FREQUENTLY FILLS A THEATRE BETTER THAN A DRAMATIC ONE.--The Stationers' Company. * * * * * The managers of Drury Lane, Gaiety, Alhambra and Empire Theatres ought _ex-officio_ to be members of the Worshipful Guild of Spectacle-makers. * * * * * [Illustration] * * * * * [Illustration: "_Walking Lady_" (_late for rehearsal_). "Oh, I'm so sorry to be late! I _do_ hope you haven't all been waiting for me?" _Stage Manager_ (_icily_). "My dear Miss Chalmers, incompetence is the gift of heaven; but attention to business may be cultivated!"] * * * * *