NOT THE WORD.--_Young Lady_ (_in the drawing room_). “Just listen! I can hear the gentlemen laughing. I believe they tell all their good stories directly we’re out of the dining-room.” _Experienced and rather severe Matron._ “_Good_ stories, dear! No--‘good’ is not the word.” * * * * * AN EYE FOR ESSENTIALS.--_Mamma_ (_house-hunting for the Season_). “It’s a good house for a dance, Emily!” _Emily._ “The rooms are rather small, aren’t they?” _Mamma_ (_who knows how matches are made_). “Yes; but what a capital _staircase_!” * * * * * [Illustration: _Snookson._ “Yes; Hastings is a charming place, and has quite a peculiar--a--and half-melancholy _interest_ for me. We came over with the _Conqueror_, you know!” _Fair Bostonian_ (_late from Paris_). “Ah, that must have been very trying! _We_ came over with the _Calais-Douvres_.” [_S. tries not to look foolish._] * * * * * [Illustration: ANNALS OF A RETIRED SUBURB Mrs. Boultby Smith and her daughters have been “at home” to their London friends every Wednesday afternoon for the last seven years. Last Wednesday some visitors actually came!] * * * * * [Illustration: ANNALS OF A QUIET NEIGHBOURHOOD Mrs. De Vere Tomlinson at home. Puzzles. Small and early.] * * * * * [Illustration: PRIG-STICKING [_See p. 181_] PRIG-STICKING.--_Little Prigson._ “Oh! as for Grigson, he’s distinctly the most objectionable little prig in all England; but his sistah’s _quite_ the nicest girl I ever met.” _Aunt Eliza._ “Dear me! What sweeping assertions! You _might_ have had the decency just to make the traditional exception in favour of _present company_!” _Cousin Maud._ “Yes; in _both_ cases, you know!” * * * * * SOME DISTINCTIONS AND A DIFFERENCE.--_Hostess has just been showing Guest the picture gallery and other glories of the ancient Baronial Halls, at the same time discoursing of the family greatness. Guest_ (_pointing to row of busts_). “And are these celebrities or just relations?” * * * * * LIMITED.--_She_. “Yes; that stupid man who came with the Smiths trod on the duchess’s train, and it tore right across, and the dear old thing never said a word. Wasn’t it _sweet_ of her?” _He._ “Well, there was only one word she _could_ have said!” * * * * * FIVE O’CLOCK TEA-CLASSES CONVERSATIONAL TEAS twice a week OFFERED by a Lady of high social position at her home to strangers, Americans, Colonials and foreigners, for whom pleasant introductions are desirable; private interviews given to ladies who desire coaching on matters of high English etiquette and fashion.--_Advertisement in morning paper._