LE MONDE OÙ L’ON S’AMUSE.--_She._ “I want you to come and dine with me, but I suppose you are so much engaged just now. How many deep?” _He._ “I really don’t know. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.” * * * * * [Illustration: THE TRIALS OF A DEBUTANTE _The Twin Muddletons_ (_both claiming the dance, after much argument, simultaneously_). “Well, we leave it to you, Miss Brown. You must know whom you gave this dance to!” [_Miss Brown, never having seen them before this, her first ball, and quite unable to tell t’other from which, has no views on the question._] * * * * * [Illustration: _Miss Griffin._ “I’m sure it must be Mrs. Jones’s fault that she can’t manage Mabel. The child is most affectionate.” _Polite Visitor_ (_eager to agree_). “Yes, the way she gets on with _you_ shows that!”] * * * * * MAY FAIR NURSERY RHYMES (_For the Children of “Smart People”_) Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong, what do I care! I’ll sing you a nice little song of May Fair-- Five hundred people invited to meet In a wee little house, in a wee little street-- Five hundred people all huddled together, Discussing the faults of their friends and the weather-- One little pianist strumming an air, No one to listen and no one to care-- One little lady attempting to sing, Tears in the eyes of that poor little thing: Up gets a man, sings, “_Two lovely black eyes!_”-- You might hear a pin drop--“_Oh! what a surprise!_” For that is the music they like in May Fair. Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong, what do I care! * * * * * SOCIAL ECONOMY.--_Mrs. Scrooge._ “I’m writing to ask the Browns to meet the Joneses here at dinner, and to the Joneses to meet the Browns. We owe them both, you know.” _Mr. Scrooge._ “But I’ve heard they’ve just quarrelled, and don’t speak!” _Mrs. Scrooge._ “I know. They’ll refuse, and we needn’t give a dinner party at all!” * * * * * [Illustration: _First Genius to Second Genius._ “Why on earth do you do your hair in that absurd fashion, Smith?”] * * * * * [Illustration: TANGIBLE _Second Groom_ (_waiting at tea for the nonce, and handing thin bread-and-butter--sotto voce_). “Clap two or three bits together, miss, then you’ll get a bite!”] * * * * * [Illustration: A POST-OBIT “There, Major, it’s the best likeness I ever had taken of me--and poor Fred never saw it!”] * * * * * [Illustration: On coming out of church, General Sir Talbot de la Poer Sangrazul is so struck by the beauty of the afternoon sky, that he forgets to put on his hat, and Lady Jones (who is rather near-sighted) drops a penny into it!] * * * * * THE LATEST THING IN CRIME