_Brown._ "Well, I should translate it as 'behold,' or 'there you are,' or something like that." _Jones._ "Confound it! I've been using it for the last month and thinking I've been swearing in French!"] * * * * * [Illustration: BASHAN, NEAR BARMOUTH The worst of Wales is, the wild beasts are so numerous and inquisitive.] * * * * * [Illustration: GEOLOGY.--_Scientific Pedestrian._ "Do you find any fossils here?" _Excavator._ "Dunno what you calls 'vossuls.' We finds nowt here but muck and 'ard work!"] * * * * * [Illustration: MUSIC ON THE WATERS.--_Parker._ "Beg pardon, my lady, but the band can't play the selection your ladyship asked for." _Her Ladyship_ (_astonished_). "But it's in their programme!" _Parker._ "Yes, my lady, but they can't play it till we get into still water, and _then they'll try_!"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE COMFORTER.--"I say, old man, I've just been down in the saloon, and they give you the finest half-crown lunch I've ever struck!"] * * * * * [Illustration: A MOOT POINT.--_Mrs. Brown_ (_on her honeymoon_). "Oh, aren't you glad, darling, we have come this delightful tour, instead of going to one of those stupid foreign places?" [_Darling is not quite sure about it, as the hills are of terrible frequency, and, naturally, he tows his bride up every one._ ] * * * * * [Illustration: BAD HABITS GROW APACE.--_Traveller_ (_whose train is due_). "Look here, I'm going to get out and walk. That brute will make me miss my train!" _Jarvey._ "Kape still, surr. For the love av' Moses, kape still. Sure an' if the ould blayguard bates us, I'll niver get him up to the station no more!"] * * * * * THE TRAVELLERS TRICKED (_An à propos Duologue_) _She_ (_with resolution_). Charlie, I want to ask your pardon. I have made a mistake. _He._ Yes, dear; which of them? _She._ You shall not put me out by sneering. Yes, I have made a mistake; and when I make a mistake, I do not fail to acknowledge it. _He._ Quite right, dear. Nothing like having a congenial occupation. _She._ Charlie, we came back to town prematurely. _He._ Yes, dear; we certainly curtailed our stay in Paris a little to allow of your purchasing that pretty bonnet. _She._ It cost a lot of money, Charlie. _He._ It did, dear; but I did not grudge it, as you and the shop girl said it was of the first mode and the greatest novelty in Paris. _She._ Yes, Charlie; and I believed her. _He._ Well, I am sure that the three or four days we cut off were well worth it, to buy the bonnet. _She._ How good, how noble of you to say so! _He._ Not at all; I was really glad to get back to the club. And you have your bonnet--a real genuine French bonnet! And the most Parisian shape imaginable. _She_ (_with an effort_). The shape is not Parisian.