[Illustration: A GENTLE SNUB.--"Here, waiter--quick! Something to eat--and look sharp!" "Yessir. What'll you 'ave, sir?" "Oh--anything--I don't care. Chop or steak--whatever you like." "You must excuse me, sir; but I don't feel called upon to decide!"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE WAY WE LIVE NOW TIME--3 P.M. SCENE--_Club_. _First Gilded Youth._ "Had any breakfast, old chappie?" _Second Gilded Youth._ "Yes. Had an egg beaten up at twelve." _First Gilded Youth_ (_in admiration_). "Doose you did! What a constitution you must have!"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE FIRST ASPARAGUS OF THE SEASON _Farmer_ (_at market dinner_). "Wull, gen'elmen, I dunno wot be the c'rect way o' servin' these 'ere, but I gen'elly eats just the ends of 'em myself!" [_Helps himself to the tops!_]] * * * * * [Illustration: THE GENIAL SEASON _Hungry-looking Acquaintance_ (_with eye to invitation_). "So glad to see you enjoying yourself!" _Fat Chap_ (_evidently doing well_). "Wrong again, old man. I'm enjoying my dinner!"] * * * * * A WAITER'S WARNING "ENTOMOLOGY IN PARLIAMENT STREET.--Mr. Frank W. DUFREY, 55, Parliament Street, writes to the _Field_:--'It will interest your entomological readers to hear that a fine specimen of the death's-head hawk moth (_Acherontia atropos_) was taken in Parliament Street on Monday evening. It flew into the dining-room at the Red Lion Tavern, and was captured by one of the waiters, who was alarmed at its size and the peculiar noise it made. Apart from its being rather rubbed, it is a very good specimen of the largest of our lepidoptera, and is now in my possession.'"