[Illustration: WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH OUR GIRLS? (_Why not give them a few lessons in the science of book-making?_) _Mr. Professor._ "And now, ladies, having closed our book on the favourite, and the betting being seven to three bar one, I will show you how to work out the odds against the double event."] * * * * * [Illustration: COLD COMFORT.--Scene--_Badly beaten horse walking in with crowd. First Sporting Gent (to second ditto, who has plunged disastrously on his advice)._ "Told yer he was a foregorne conclusion for this race, did I? Well, and what more d'yer want? Ain't he jolly well the conclusion of it?"] * * * * * [Illustration: DERBY DAY. DOWN THE ROAD.--Matches that strike upon the box.] * * * * * HOW TO WIN THE DERBY (_By one who has all but done it._) [Illustration] Take great care in purchasing a really good colt. Don't let expense stand in your way, but be sure you get for money money's worth. Obtain the most experienced trainer in the market, and confide your colt to his care. But, at the same time, let him have the advantage of your personal encouragement and the opinion of those of your sporting friends upon whose judgment you can place reliance. When the day of the great race draws near, secure the most reliable jockey and every other advantage that you can obtain for your valuable animal. Then, having taken every precaution to win the Derby, why--win it! * * * * * [Illustration: AT THE POST.--_First Gentleman Rider._ "Who is the swell on the lame horse?" _Second Gentleman Rider._ "Oh--forget his name--he's the son of the great furniture man, don'tcherknow." _First Gentleman Rider._ "Goes as if he had a caster off, eh?" * * * * * [Illustration: ASCOT WEEK RACING NOTE Going in for a sweep.] * * * * * ON THE COURSE.--_Angelina._ What do they mean, dear, by the Outside Ring? _Edwin._ Oh! that's the place where we always back outsiders. A splendid institution! [_So it was, till Edwin fell among gentlemen from Wales._ * * * * * AT THE CLOSE OF THE RACING SEASON.--_Owner (to friend, pointing to disappointing colt)._ There he is, as well bred as any horse in the world, but can't win a race. Now what's to be done with him? _Friend (suddenly inspired)._ Harness the beast in front of a motor-car. He'll _have_ to travel, then. * * * * * REAL AUTUMN HANDY-CAP.--A deerstalker. * * * * * [Illustration: _Uncle._ "Ah, Milly, I'm afraid you've lost your money over that one. He's gone the wrong way!" _Milly (at her first race-meeting)._ "Oh, no, uncle, I'm all right. George told me to back it 'both ways.'"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE JOYS OF A GENTLEMAN RIDER