_Second Member._ Oh, that's rubbish. Anybody with a grain of sense would see that you'd utterly ruin the course that way. My plan is to take the first three, the 11th, and the 14th--you understand, Nobbs?--(_slowly and emphatically_) the first three, the 11th, and the 14th. _Inoffensive Stranger._ Yes? _Second M._ (_quickly_). And leave 'em as they are. Leave 'em just exactly as they are. Then you do away with the next, make the 3rd into the 7th, and---- _I.S._ (_horribly confused_). But---- _Third M._ Yes, I know--you're thinking of the crossing from the 14th. And you're perfectly right. Simply fatal, that would be; too dangerous altogether. What we really want is a 2nd hole, and my plan would make a splendid one--really sporting, and giving these gentlemen who fancy their play a bit to do. _Second M._ Don't know about _that_. Tried that patent 2nd hole of yours this morning out of curiosity. Holed it with my third, and might have done it in two, with a bit of luck. _Third M._ (_whistles expressively_). Oh, _come_! Splendid player you are, and all that--handicap's fifteen, isn't it?--but there aren't _many_ of us who would stand here and say calmly that we'd done a hole of 420 yards in three! _Really_, you know---- _Second M._ 420 yards? 130, you mean. _Third M._ (_defiantly_). 420, if an inch. _Second M._ But look here, you told me yourself only yesterday---- _Third M._ (_slightly taken aback_). Oh, ah, yes. I understand now. I _did_ think, at one time, of making the 2nd a short hole. But this is quite a different idea. Miles better, in fact. It flashed across me quite suddenly at dinner-time last night. Sort of inspiration--kind of thing you can't account for--but there it _is_, you see. _Fourth M._ Well, what you fellows can argue about like this beats me altogether. There's only one _possible_ way of improving the course, and I showed you the plan of it last week. It won't be adopted--not likely. So good, and simple, and inexpensive that the committee won't look at it. Couldn't expect anything else. Anyhow (_with an air of unappreciated heroism_)--I've done _my_ best for the club! (_Sighs heavily, and picks up a newspaper._) _Fifth M._ (_brutally_). Oh, _we_ know all about that blessed plan of yours. Now, I'm open to conviction. Mind you, I don't condemn anybody else's scheme. All that _I_ say is, that if a man doesn't see that my plan is the best, he's a dunder-headed jackass, and that's all about it. What do _you_ think, Mr. Nobbs? _I.S._ (_rather nervously_). Well, really--I hardly know--perhaps---- _First M._ (_compassionately_). Ah, it's those whins below the 17th that are bothering _you_. But if you exchange the 8th and the 10th---- _Second M._ (_abruptly_). Rot! (_The battle continues. The_ Inoffensive Stranger _stealthily withdraws._ (_Curtain._)) [Illustration: Punch] * * * * * [Illustration: A TOWN MOUSE _Jones._ "Well, my little man, what are _you_ thinking about?"