"My grief lies onward, and my joy behind." * * * * * [Illustration: LOGICAL.--_Little Bobby_ (_whose mamma is very particular, and is always telling him to wash his face and hands_). "Mummy dear! I do wish I was a little black boy." _Mamma._ "My dear Bobby, you generally are." _Little Bobby._ "Oh, I mean _really_ black. _Then_ you wouldn't see when I was dirty."] * * * * * [Illustration: EVERYTHING CAN BE EXPLAINED _Cissie_ (_who has never seen an Archdeacon before_). "Dick, that old clergyman has got gaiters on. What does it mean when a clergyman wears gaiters?" _Dick_ (_who knows everything_). "Oh, it means that he belongs to the cyclist corps!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "WHAT MAISIE KNEW" _Kind Aunt._ "You needn't be afraid of my little pug, Maisie. He won't bite you." _Maisie._ "No, auntie. But he might kick!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Bobby._ "Do you know what daddy calls you, Mr. Tovey?" _Mr. Tovey._ "No Bobby. What is it?" _Bobby._ "He calls you Port Arthur, 'cause you take so long to surrender!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Little Girl_ (_to mother, who has just read notice_). "I suppose, mother, it doesn't mention _which_ half of the poor thing we are to look for?"] * * * * * JUVENILE GEOGRAPHY.--_Governess._ The earth moves round the sun ... it takes a whole year to complete the round ... and this accounts for the four seasons. What are the four seasons of the year, Phyllis? _Phyllis_ (_aged_ five). This year, next year, sometime, never. * * * * * "IT'S A WISE CHILD THAT KNOWS ITS OWN FATHER."--_Grace._ Harold, why did pa call that Mr. Blowhard a liar? _Harold._ 'Cos he's smaller than pa! * * * * * A LITTLE LEARNING.--_Teacher._ And who was Joan of Arc? _Scholar._ Please, sir, Noah's wife. * * * * * A LITTLE STEPMOTHER.--_Uncle._ Hullo! Dot, got a new doll? _Little Miss Dot._ Hush, uncle, don't speak too loud. She is not one of my own, but belonged to Millie Simpson, who was cruel to her and 'bandoned her, so I have 'dopted her; but I don't want her to know, because I mean to make no difference between her and my own dollies. * * * * * [Illustration: A POSER _Katie_ (_in consternation_). "Oh, mother, how _will_ Santa Claus do about that poor man's stockings?"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE RETURN INVITATION.--"Please, Mrs. Subbubs, mamma says she'll be glad if you'll come to tea on Monday." "With pleasure, Bessie. Tell your mother it's really too kind----" "Oh, no! mamma says she'll be glad when it's over."] * * * * * [Illustration: "Did our hat-rack walk about and have only two pegs, once, auntie?"]