* * * * * [Illustration: STABLE TALK.--_The General._ "That's a funny sort of horse you've got there, Cuthbert." _Cuthbert._ "Yes, gran'pa. You see he's been 'eating his head off' all the winter!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Severe Mother._ "You naughty boy! How dare you tell such stories? Aren't you ashamed of yourself for being a little liar?" _Injured Son._ "Well, mother, 't ain't my fault. Father gave me a awful thrashing the other day for having spoken the truth." _Mother._ "What _do_ you mean?" _Son._ "Why, when I told you that father had come home quite drunk the night before!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "IN STRANGE ATTIRE" "Nurse! Nurse! Bobby's out of bed, and running about in his _bananas_!"] * * * * * [Illustration: PROOF "You won't go in that dark room alone by yourself, Tommy." "Oh! won't I? You just _come with me_, and see me do it!"] * * * * * [Illustration: INCONTROVERTIBLE "And how _old_ are you, my little man?" "I'm not old at all. I'm nearly _new_!"] * * * * * THE FORCE OF CLASSIC TEACHING.--_Master._ Now, boys, what is Hexham famous for? _Binks Minor._ Making the hexameter, sir. [_Waits afterwards._ * * * * * PROVERBS REVISED.--"_One is better than two._" _Mother._ You are a very naughty little girl! _Little Girl_ (_after some thought_). Aren't you glad I wasn't twins, mummy? * * * * * [Illustration: MISUNDERSTOOD _Mild Old Gentleman rescues a bun which child has dropped in the mud._ _Child_ (_all aglow with righteous indignation_). "That's _my_ bun!"] * * * * * TRUE SENTIMENT.--"I'm writing to Mrs. Montague, Georgie--that pretty lady you used to take to see your pigs. Haven't you some nice message to send her?" "Yes, mummie; give her my love, and say I never look at a little black pig now without thinking of _her_!" * * * * * [Illustration: _Chemist._ "Pills, eh?" (_Emphasising question_) "Anti-bilious?" _Child_ (_readily_). "No, sir; uncle is!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Mother._ "Now, dear, why don't you run away and give grandpa a kiss?" _Child_ (_somewhat nonplussed by grandpapa's moustache and beard_). "I don't see any place for it, mamma!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE," &c.--_Ethel._ "Mummy dear, why did you tell Richard you 'weren't at home' just now?" (_Pause._) "Mummy, I mean----" _Mamma._ "When Sir Fusby Dodderidge called? Why, Ethel dear, because he bores me." _Ethel._ "Oh!" (_After thoughtfully considering the matter with regard to her governess_). "Then may I say I'm not at home when Miss Krux calls to-morrow? for _she_ bores _me_ awfully?"] * * * * *