[Illustration: AT THE RINK.--_Little Girl._ "Oh, Captain Sprawler, _do_ put on your skates, and show me the funny figures you can make." _Captain S._ "My dear child, I'm only a beginner. I can't make any figures." _Little Girl._ "But Mabel said you were skating yesterday, and cut a _ridiculous_ figure!"] * * * * * A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE.--_Daisy_ (_who has been studying Chrysanthemums_).--Maisy, do you know what's a _Double Begonia_? _Maisy_ (_who has been studying the Classics_).--"Double Big-onia"? Yes! Of course, it's the plural of one big onion. * * * * * MAIDENLY ETIQUETTE.--_Little Chris_ (_ætat eight_). I've a birthday party on Thursday, Evie. I should like you to come. _Little Evie_ (_ætat nine_). I should love to, dear. _Little Chris._ But I couldn't, you know, unless you asked me to tea first. * * * * * IN THE LIBRARY.--_Tommy._ How beautifully those books is binded! _Little Dot._ No, Tommy, that's wrong. You mustn't say "binded"; you should say, "are bounded." * * * * * SUPERLATIVE ASSURANCE.--_Papa_ (To Little Chris). I can't quite understand you. Was it Mr. Jones, or Mr. David Jones, or Mr. Griffith Jones, whom you met? _Little Chris_ (_stoutly_). All I know is, it was the _third eldest_ Mr. Jones. * * * * * [Illustration: _Mabel_ (_stroking kitten, a new present_). "Mother, kitty's so hot! Ought she to sit so near the fire?" (_Kitten purrs._) "Oh, mother, listen! She's beginning to boil!"] * * * * * A VIRTUE OF NECESSITY.--_Aunt Maria._ What a good little boy to leave your little friends to come with a poor old auntie like me. _Master Douglas._ Oh, mother always _makes_ us do nasty things and things we don't like. * * * * * MASTER TOMMY'S RECEIPTS.--(_The Fair Weather Barometer._) This is a pleasing and simple experiment. The mercury is removed, and divided in equal portions between the cat, the parrot next door, and the interior of grandpapa's forty-guinea repeater. This may cause some local disturbance, but the barometer, relieved of undue pressure, and set at "very dry," may be relied on to indicate, without further attention, permanent fair weather. * * * * * AT THE BOARD SCHOOL.--_Inspector._ Now, can any of you children state what is likely to be the future of China? _One Maiden_ (_after a pause_). Please sir, father says that China's like him. _Inspector._ Like him! What do you mean? _The Maiden._ Sure to be broken by the force of circumstances. [_Class dismissed immediately._ * * * * * [Illustration: AN INNOCENT HINT _Auntie._ "What is Nellie's nose for?" _Nellie_ (_doubtfully_). "To smell with." _Auntie._ "And what is Nellie's mouth for?" _Nellie_ (_cautiously_). "To eat with."