My Lady Nicotine: A Study in SmokeBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
My Lady Nicotine: A Study in Smoke
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Smoking -- Anecdotes; Tobacco -- Anecdotes; Wit and humor, Pictorial
I willingly gibbet myself to show how reticent the Arcadia makes us.
It happens that I have a connection with Nottingham, and whenever a
man mentions Nottingham to me, with a certain gleam in his eye, I know
that he wants to discuss the lace trade. But it is a curious fact that
the aggressive talker constantly mixes up Nottingham and Northampton.
"Oh, you know Nottingham," he says, interestedly; "and how do you like
Labouchere for a member?" Do you think I put him right? Do you imagine
me thirsting to tell that Mr. Labouchere is the Christian member for
Northampton? Do you suppose me swift to explain that Mr. Broadhurst
is one of the Nottingham members, and that the "Nottingham lambs"
are notorious in the history of political elections? Do you fancy me
explaining that he is quite right in saying that Nottingham has a large
market-place? Do you see me drawn into half an hour's talk about Robin
Hood? That is not my way. I merely reply that we like Mr. Labouchere
pretty well. It may be said that I gain nothing by this; that the talker
will be as curious about Northampton as he would have been about
Nottingham, and that Bradlaugh and Labouchere and boots will serve his
turn quite as well as Broadhurst and lace and Robin Hood. But that is
not so. Beginning on Northampton in the most confident manner, it
suddenly flashes across him that he has mistaken Northampton for
Nottingham. "How foolish of me!" he says. I maintain a severe silence.
He is annoyed. My experience of talkers tells me that nothing annoys
them so much as a blunder of this kind. From the coldly polite way in
which I have taken the talker's remarks, he discovers the value I put
upon them, and after that, if he has a neighbor on the other side, he
leaves me alone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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