fact--_i.e._, that will-power and not "conversion" had made him one of
the noted citizens of his community and one of the prominent lawyers of
his State.
I do not know whether he knew in what great respect I held him or not.
This much is certain, however; he almost never looked at or spoke to me
severely, and he was constantly doing something kind or useful. I wish
now that I had been old enough to have had a square talk with him about
will-power and Divine help. He was not a very communicative man, and it
is possible that he would not have consented to enter into such an
interview, thinking perhaps that I was too young to discuss such matters
from his point of view. So I lived on, looking up invariably to him as
an example when it was necessary to grit my teeth and overcome some
slight temptation. His wife, who was really a second mother to me, saw
to it that I attended church and studied my Bible--the college
authorities demanded attendance at church, and on Mondays called the
roll of all those who had or had not been present at church the day
before--but somehow she never had the influence over me that her
white-haired, clean-shaven stalwart husband did. It was her constant
prayer and hope that "Gill," as she called him, would eventually get
religion and be assured of heavenly peace. He frequently attended church
with her, and certainly his efforts were as exemplary as the college
president's, but I have heard it said that, if he believed in any
theology at all, it was in that miserable, foolish doctrine--silly
creation of weak minds--that a certain number of souls are predestined
to damnation anyhow, and that his was one of them on account of the wild
life he had led in his younger manhood. This "story" about my hero also
took hold of me very perceptibly, and I often used to look at the man's
fine face surreptitiously, and wonder what could be going on in a mind
that had become resigned to eternal punishment. I could not follow him
this far in his philosophy, but I have long since come to the conclusion
that the man was too sensible to entertain any such theory, and that the
"story" was the mere patchwork of a number of wild guesses and
injudicious surmises on the part of relatives, and his lovable, but not
always careful, wife.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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