Night watches [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Night watches [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
Humorous stories; Short stories
“Don't take no notice of 'im, Ginger,” ses Peter. “Why didn't you marry
'er?”
“'Cos I was afraid she might think I was arter 'er money,” ses Ginger,
getting a little bit closer to Sam.
Peter 'ad another turn then, and him and Ginger kept on talking about
gals whose 'arts they 'ad broke till Sam didn't know what to do with
'imself.
“I'll just step round and see my nevy, while you and Peter are amusing
each other,” he ses at last. “I'll ask 'im to come round to-morrow and
then you can give 'im good advice.”
The nevy came round next evening. Bright, cheerful young chap 'e was,
and he agreed with everything they said. When Peter said as 'ow all gals
was deceivers, he said he'd known it for years, but they was born that
way and couldn't 'elp it; and when Ginger said that no man ought to
marry afore he was fifty, he corrected 'im and made it fifty-five.
“I'm glad to 'ear you talk like that,” ses Ginger.
“So am I,” ses Peter.
“He's got his 'ead screwed on right,” ses Sam, wot thought his sister
'ad made a mistake.
“I'm surprised when I look round at the wimmen men 'ave married,” ses
the nevy; “wot they could 'ave seen in them I can't think. Me and my
young lady often laugh about it.”
“Your wot?” ses Sam, pretending to be very surprised.
“My young lady,” ses the nevy.
Sam gives a cough. “I didn't know you'd got a young lady,” he ses.
“Well, I 'ave,” ses his nevy, “and we're going to be married at
Christmas.”
“But—but you ain't fifty-five,” ses Ginger.
“I'm twenty-one,” ses the nevy, “but my case is different. There isn't
another young lady like mine in the world. She's different to all the
others, and it ain't likely I'm going to let 'er be snapped up by
somebody else. Fifty-five! Why, 'ow I'm to wait till Christmas I don't
know. She's the prettiest and handsomest gal in the world; and she's the
cleverest one I ever met. You ought to hear 'er laugh. Like music it is.
You'd never forget it.”
“Twenty-one is young,” ses Ginger, shaking his 'ead. “'Ave you known 'er
long?”
“Three months,” ses the nevy. “She lives in the same street as I do. 'Ow
it is she ain't been snapped up before, I can't think, but she told me
that she didn't care for men till she saw me.”
“They all say that,” ses Ginger.
“If I've 'ad it said to me once, I've 'ad it said twenty times,” ses
Peter, nodding.
“They do it to flatter,” ses old Sam, looking as if 'e knew all about
it. “You wait till you are my age, Joe; then you'll know; why I should
ha' been married dozens o' times if I 'adn't been careful.”
“P'r'aps it was a bit on both sides,” ses Joe, looking at 'is uncle.
“P'r'aps they was careful too. If you only saw my young lady, you
wouldn't talk like that. She's got the truthfullest eyes in the world.
Large grey eyes like a child's, leastways sometimes they are grey and
sometimes they are blue. It seems to depend on the light somehow; I 'ave
seen them when they was a brown—brownish-gold. And she smiles with 'er
eyes.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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