On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be ActorJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be Actor
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Actors -- Great Britain -- Biography; Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927
When I saw him the next day, he told me he had done it. He had
arranged an engagement for me with a Surrey-side manager, to whom he
would introduce me to-morrow, when the agreement could be signed, and
everything settled. I was, accordingly, to be at his office for the
purpose at eleven o’clock the following morning--and to bring the
money with me. That was his parting injunction.
I did not walk back to my lodgings, I skipped back. I burst open the
door, and went up the stairs like a whirlwind; but I was too excited
to stop indoors. I went and had dinner at a first-class restaurant,
the bill for which considerably lessened my slender means. “Never
mind,” I thought, “what are a few shillings, when I shall soon be
earning my hundreds of pounds!” I went to the theater, but I don’t
know what theater it was, or what was the play, and I don’t think I
knew at the time. I did notice the acting a little, but only to fancy
how much better I could play each part myself. I wondered how I should
like these particular actors and actresses, when I came to know
them. I thought I should rather like the leading lady, and, in my
imagination, sketched out the details of a most desperate flirtation
with her, that would send all the other actors mad with jealousy. Then
I went home to bed, and lay awake all night, dreaming.
I got up at seven the next morning, and hurried over my breakfast, so
as to be in time for the appointment at eleven. I think I looked at my
watch (I wonder where that watch is now!) at least every other minute.
I got down to the Strand a little before ten, and wandered up and
down a small portion of it, frightened to go a stone’s throw from the
office, and yet dreading to go too near it. I bought a new pair of
gloves. I remember they were salmon color, and one of them split as I
was trying to get it on, so I carried it crumpled up in my hand, and
wore the other one. When it got within twenty minutes of the time, I
turned into the street where the office was, and loitered about there,
with an uncomfortable feeling, that every one living in it knew what
I had come about, and was covertly watching me from behind blinds and
curtains. It seemed as though eleven o’clock never would come, but Big
Ben tolled it out at last, and I walked up the door, trying to look as
if I had just strolled!
When I reached the office, no one was there, and the door was locked.
My heart sank within me. Had the whole thing been a cruel hoax? Was it
to be another disappointment? Had the manager been murdered? Had
the theater been burned down? Why were they not here? Something
extraordinary must have happened to make them late on such an
important occasion as this. I spent half an hour of intense suspense
and then they arrived. They hoped they had not kept me waiting, and I
replied, “Oh no, not at all,” and murmured something about having only
just come myself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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