On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be ActorJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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On the Stage--and Off: The Brief Career of a Would-Be Actor
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Actors -- Great Britain -- Biography; Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927
The next to appear was a gentleman (“walking”) in a fur-trimmed
overcoat, patent-leather boots and white gaiters and lavender kid
gloves. He carried a silver-headed cane in his hand, a glass in his
left eye, a cigar in his mouth (put out as soon as he got to the
stage, of course), and a small nosegay in his button-hole. His salary
I subsequently discovered to be thirty shillings a week. After him
came two ladies (not with any designs upon the young man: merely in
the order of time). One of them was thin and pale, with a careworn
look underneath the rouge, just as if she were some poor, hard-working
woman, with a large family and small means, instead of an actress. The
other was fat, fair, and--forty, if she was a day. She was gloriously
“got up,” both as regards complexion and dress. I can’t describe the
latter, because I never can tell what any woman has got on. I only
know she conveyed an impression to my mind of being stuck out all
round, and thrown out in front, and puffed out at the back, and
towering up at the top, and trailing away behind, and all to such a
degree, that she looked four times her natural size. As everybody was
very glad indeed to see her and welcomed her with what seemed to be
irrepressible joy, even the stage manager being civil, I naturally
concluded that she was the embodiment of all the virtues known to
human kind. The whispered remarks that I overheard, however, did not
quite support this view, and I was at a loss to reconcile matters,
until I learned that she was the manager’s wife. She was the leading
lady, and the characters she particularly affected, and in which she
was affected, were the girlish heroines, and the children who die
young and go to heaven.
The rest of the company was made up of a couple of very old men, and a
middle-aged stout one, two rather pretty girls, evidently possessed of
an inexhaustible fund of humor, for they kept each other giggling all
the morning; and the manager himself, who arrived last, and was less
interested in the proceedings than any one else. No one took the
slightest notice of me, though I purposely stood about in conspicuous
positions, and I felt like the new boy at school.
When everybody had arrived, the rickety table was brought down to the
front, and a bell rung; whereupon a small boy suddenly appeared for
the first time, and was given the “parts” to distribute. It was a
manuscript play, though well known to the company, nearly all of whom
had played in it plenty of times before. All the parts were torn and
greasy except one, which was prominently clean. When the boy came to
that one he seemed puzzled, not knowing to whom it belonged; so he
stood in the center of the stage and bawled out the name on it; and as
it was my name, and I had to claim the part, I was at once lifted
out of my obscurity, and placed in an opposite extreme hardly more
comfortable.
CHAPTER V. A Rehearsal.
[Illustration: 9050]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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