Atonement -- Fiction; Clergy -- England -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction
"That is all I have to say to you, Mr. Musk. I will not insult you by
asking your forgiveness, much less by attempting to make the shadow of
an excuse; there could be none; nor can there be any forgiveness for me
from you or your wife; nor do I look for any mercy in this parish, or
this world. Go, spread the news, and ruin me in my turn; it's what I
deserve, and mean to bear."
"Not so fast," said Musk--"not so fast, if you please. So I'm to spread
the news, am I? And do you think I'm so proud that's the reverend? By
your leave, Mr. Carlton, I'll keep that same news to myself till I've
had all I want from it."
"Any refinement you like," said Carlton. "It will not be too bad for
me--or too much--please God!"
Jasper Musk put on his hat, but came close up to the clergyman before
taking his leave.
"I wish I knew you better!" he ground out through his teeth. "I wish I'd
made up to you like the women, instead of giving you the wide berth I
have. Do you know why? Because I'd have known how to hit you hardest,"
said Musk, hissing like a snake; "because I'd have known where to hurt
you most!"
Carlton stood a trifle more upright: his enemy's malice ministered
subtly to his remnant of self-respect.
"I wish I'd been a church-goer," continued Musk; "but it's never too
late to mend! I may be there to-morrow to hear you preach; maybe I'll
have a word to say myself; maybe I shall not. You'll know when the time
comes, and not before."
Carlton quailed, for the first time at a threat, and his visible terror
seemed to intoxicate the other. Seizing him by the shoulder as he had
seized his wife, clutching him like a wild beast, and thrusting his
great face to within an inch of that of the unhappy clergyman, Jasper
Musk spat lewd names, and foul insult, and wanton blasphemy, until
breath failed him. All the vileness he had heard in sixty years, and
could recall in half as many seconds, poured from him in a very
transport of insensate ribaldry; words that had never left his lips
before, crowded to them now; and were still ringing in a swimming head
when Robert Carlton woke to the fact that he was once more alone.
His first sensation was one of overwhelming nausea. His very vitals
writhed; and he reeled heavily against an open bookcase, casting an arm
along one of the upper shelves, and resting his face upon the sleeve.
For a few moments all his weight was upon that arm; then he opened his
eyes, and the titles of the books engaged his dazed attention. None was
apt, but all were familiar, and the familiarity maddened the stricken
man. He stood glaring from one low wall to another, filled with those
doubts which are the cruel satellites of transcendent anguish. Had it
really happened after all? The room was so unchanged, from the few
things on the walls to the many in the chair! All was so homely, so
intimate, so reassuring; and no visible trace of Musk! Had he ever been
there at all?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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