Perkins of Portland: Perkins The GreatButler, Ellis Parker
General
Perkins of Portland: Perkins The Great
Butler, Ellis Parker
Advertising -- Fiction; Humorous stories
Our advertising campaign made a big hit. There were a few visitors who
kicked because we did not serve beer with the free lunches we gave, but
Perkins was unyielding on that point. Cloverdale was to be a temperance
town, and he held that it would be inconsistent to give free beer. But
the trump card was our guarantee that the lots would advance twenty per
cent, within twelve months. We could do that well enough, for we made
the price ourselves; but it made a fine impression, and the lots began
to sell like hot cakes.
[Illustration: 80]
There were ten streets in Cloverdale (on paper) and ten avenues (also on
paper); and Perkins used to walk up and down them (not on the paper, but
between the stakes that showed their future location), and admire the
town of Cloverdale as it was to be. He would stand in front of the plot
of weeds that was the site of the opera-house, and get all enrapt and
enthusiastic just thinking how fine that opera-house would be some day;
and then he would imagine he was on our street-car line going down
to the library. But the thing Perkins liked best was to go to church.
Whenever he passed one of the corner lots that we had set aside for a
church, he would take off his hat and look sober, as a man ought when he
has suddenly run into an ennobling religious atmosphere.
One day a man came out from Chicago, and, after looking over our ground,
told us he wanted to take ten lots; but none suited him but the ten
facing on First Avenue at the corner of First Street. Perkins tried to
argue him into taking some other lots, but he wouldn't. Perkins and I
talked it over, and, as the man wanted to build ten houses, we decided
to sell him the lots.
We thought a town ought to have a few houses, and so far Cloverdale had
nothing but the Club-house. As we had previously sold all the other lots
on First Street, we had no place on that street to put the First Street
Church, so Perkins rubbed it off the map, and marked it at the corner of
First Avenue and Fifth Street.
The next day a man came down who wanted a site for a grocery. We were
glad to see him, for every first-class town ought to have a grocery; but
Perkins balked when he insisted on having the lot at the corner of Sixth
Avenue and Sixth Street that we had set aside for the First Methodist
Church. Perkins said he would never feel quite himself again if he had
to think that he had been taking off his hat to a grocery every time he
passed that lot. It would lower his self-respect. I was afraid we were
going to lose the grocer to save Perkins's self-respect. Then we saw we
could move the church to the corner of Sixth Avenue and Fifth Street.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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