“Well, Boggs,” he remarked in his cheerful way--and I may remark that, since Perkins has become famous, every advertising agent has copied his cheerful manner of speech, so that the ad. man who does not greet you with a smile no longer exists-- “Well, Boggs,” he remarked, “more family ties, I see. Great thing, family ties. What is home without sixty-eight guinea-pigs?” Silas Boggs grinned. “Perkins!” he gasped. “Perkins! Oh, Perkins! My dear Perkins!” But he could get no farther, so overcome was he by his emotions. It was fully ten minutes before he could fully and clearly explain that the stork had brought him a pair--the only pair--of lop-eared guinea-pigs; and in the meantime Perkins had loaded his left arm with stove wood, and stood clasping it, overhand, with his right arm. When Silas Boggs managed to tell his wonderful news, Perkins dropped the armful of wood on the floor with a crash. “Boggs!” he cried, “Boggs! Now is your chance! Now is your golden opportunity! Advertise, my boy, advertise!” “What?” asked Silas Boggs, in amazement. “I say--advertise!” exclaimed Perkins again. “And I say--advertise what?” said Silas Boggs. “Advertise what?” Perkins ejaculated. “What should you advertise, but Silas Boggs's Celebrated Lop-eared Guinea-pigs? What has the world been waiting and longing and pining for but the lop-eared guinea-pig? Why has the world been full of woe and pain, but because it lacked lop-eared guinea-pigs? Why are you happy this morning? Because you have lop-eared guinea-pigs! Don't be selfish, Silas--give the world a chance. Let them into the joy-house on the ground floor. Sell them lop-eared guinea-pigs and joy. Advertise, and get rich!” Silas Boggs shook his head. “No!” he said. “No! I can't. I have only two. I'll keep them.” Perkins seated himself on the wood-pile. “Silas,” he said, “if I understand you, one of these lop-eared guinea-pigs is a lady, and the other is a gentleman. Am I right?” “You are,” remarked Silas Boggs. “And I believe the guinea-pigs usually marry young, do they not?” asked Perkins. “They do,” admitted Silas Boggs. “I think, if I am not mistaken,” said Perkins, “that you have told me they have large and frequent families. Is it so?” “Undoubtedly,” agreed Silas Boggs. “And you have stated,” said Perkins, “that those families many young and have large and frequent families that also marry young and have large and frequent families, have you not?” “I have! I have!” exclaimed Silas Boggs, beginning to warm up. “Then,” said Perkins, “in a year you ought to have many, many lop-eared guinea-pigs. Is that correct?” “I ought to have thousands!” cried Silas Boggs, in ecstasy. “What is a pair of common guinea-pigs worth?” asked Perkins. “One dollar,” said Silas Boggs. “A lop-eared pair ought to be worth two dollars, easily.” “Two dollars!” cried Perkins. “Two fiddlesticks! Five dollars, you mean! Why, man, you have a corner in lop-ears. You have all there are. Shake hands!”