"Same old fellow he used to be." "Best thing that's been got off here in a year." "Gentlemen," said the solemn man, "there seems to be a conspiracy among you to guy me. I like a joke myself, but I like to know what I'm being hurrahed about." Three men lay down in the sawdust and screamed, and the rest fell in chairs and leaned against the bar in paroxysms of laughter. Then three or four of them almost fought for the honor of setting them up again. The solemn man was suspicious and watchful, but he drank every time anyone proposed to treat. Whenever he made a remark, the whole gang would yell with laughter until the tears ran from their eyes. "Well," said the solemn man, after about twenty rounds had been paid for by the others, "the best of friends must part. I've got to get to my downy couch." "Good!" yelled the fat man. "Ha--ha--ha--ha--ha! 'Downy couch' is good. Best thing I ever heard. You are as good, by Gad, as you ever were. Never heard such impromptu wit. Texas is proud of you, old boy." "Good night, gentlemen," said the solemn man. "I've got to get up early in the morning and go to work." "Hear that!" shouted the fat man. "Says he's got to work. Ha--ha--ha--ha--ha!" The whole crowd gave a parting roar of laughter as the solemn man walked to the door. He stopped for a moment and said: "Had a very (hic) pleasant evening (hic) gents. Hope'll shee you (hic) 'n mornin'. Here'sh my card. Goo' night." The fat man seized the card and shook the solemn man's hand. When he had gone, he glanced at the card, and his face took on a serious frown. "Gentlemen," he said, "you all know who our friend is that we have been entertaining, don't you?" "Of course; you said it was Alex Sweet, the 'Texas Siftings' man." "So I understood," said the fat man. "The hotel clerk said it was Alex Sweet." He handed them the card and skipped out the side door. The card read: L. X. Wheat Representing Kansas City Smith and Jones Mo. Wholesale Undertakers' Supplies The crowd was out $32 on treats, and they armed themselves and are laying for the fat man. When a stranger attempts to be funny in San Antonio now, he has to produce proper credentials in writing before he can raise a smile. The Distraction of Grief The other day a Houston man died and left a young and charming widow to mourn his loss. Just before the funeral, the pastor came around to speak what words of comfort he could, and learn her wishes regarding the obsequies. He found her dressed in a becoming mourning costume, sitting with her chin in her hand, gazing with far-off eyes in an unfathomable sea of retrospection. The pastor approached her gently, and said: "Pardon me for intruding upon your grief, but I wish to know whether you prefer to have a funeral sermon preached, or simply to have the service read." The heartbroken widow scarcely divined his meaning, so deeply was she plunged in her sorrowful thoughts, but she caught some of his words, and answered brokenly: