[See Mr. ASQUITH'S Speech on the "Temperance" demonstration.] When Trafalgar Square is with human geese full, And fiercely fights the daft declamator, Undisturbed the nursemaid can push the peaceful Perambulator. The wild teetotaller hurts not her, Nor does the publican's justificator. Unharmed she can push the peaceful Per- ambulator. The Working Man, whether true or sham, Whether honest worker, or rough spectator, Leaves her to push the peaceful Peram- bulator. Though in hostile faces and chests he ram beau-- Tiful bright banners, the demonstrator Still lets her push the peaceful Perambu- lator. Thus always, whoever may block the way, Though bones be broken and skulls be sore May she push the peaceful Perambula- tor. * * * * * "Still a _Non Est_ Man!"--J-B-Z SP-NC-R B-LF-R. * * * * * To Mr. John Davitt. (_On his Maiden Speech in the House._) "O si sic omnes!" Surely sincerer speaker never talked! Surely a purer patriot never walked! Surely a fairer fighter never took field! The man who heard your speech on Ireland's cause Without warm sympathy, and frank applause, Must be a--BROOKFIELD! * * * * * CHEAP AT ANY PRICE. _Mrs. Britannia_ (_effusively_). And now, my dear children, do you know the meaning of Imperial Federation? _Australia_ (_promptly_). Yes, dear Mamma. We are all to live as a happy family. _Mrs. Brit._ (_fondly_). Quite right, sweetest. And can you tell me how this is to be managed? _Canada_ (_with decision_). By mutual defence, dear Mamma. _Mrs. Brit._ (_smilingly_). My love, your answer is quite correct. And how shall we manage this mutual defence? _Cape Colony_ (_in a business-like manner_). By providing all sorts of things, dear Mamma. _Mrs. Brit._ (_proudly_). Very good, little HOPE; you are always ready with an answer. And now, can any of you tell me what those things will be? _India_ (_without hesitation_). Money, and coal and gunpowder, dear Mamma. _Mrs. Brit._ (_affectionately_). Certainly, darling; you have given exactly the proper reply. And now, will not all this cost a large sum of money? _Tasmania_ (_with much decision_). A very large sum of money, dear Mamma--an immense sum, dear Mamma. _Mrs. Brit._ (_kindly_). Yes, my child, you are perfectly right. And now, my cherished daughters, one more question. Who will have to pay for all this expense? (_A pause._) Why, surely you know? (_Continued silence._) Who will have to find the money to secure this Imperial Federation? _All Britannia's Daughters_ (_together_). Why you, dear Mamma! _Mrs. Brit._ (_fondling them_). Darlings! [_Scene closes in upon a picture very dear to Tax-payers._ * * * * * The Heathen Chinee in the House.