_President._ "Prolonged feshtivitish!" Thash good, that ish! _Very_ prolonged, ole f'ler, an' _awf'ly_ feshtive! _Tzar._ Yeah, tha' what shtruck _me!_ (_Aside._) But I really wish He wouldn't gush. ROMANOFF pride turns reshtive! _President._ _Sho_ glad it shtruck you sho! An' nurrer thing You _mush_ ha' notish'd. Feeling of fraternity All over shop! I shay, may friendship's wing Ne'er moult a feather, not to all eternity. _Tzar._ I echosh tha' fine Shwiveller shentiment Entirely! (_Aside._) I must not appear too sober. _President._ Now Fransh ish shatishfied--an' world content! Republic won't forget thish last October! Feelingsh of concord, cetra, _will_ survive Last echosh of feshtivitish--for ever! _Tzar._ Oh, coursh! Asshure you I am quite alive To reshiproshity--shan't forget it--never! _President._ Thash ri' ole f'ler! _Our_ resh--hic!--proshity-- Not like the comic Yankee's, all one shide? _Tzar._ Certainly not! Shorry to say good-bye! But though our bodiesh part, our soulsh are tied. _President._ Precishly! We're _both_ tight--mean tied--in knotsh. The champagne, an' the speeches, an' the kisshes Have bound our bosomsh, and combined our lotsh! _Tzar._ Quite sho! (_Aside._) I'll watch a chance to hint my wishes. _President._ We've had a jolly time, and now, ole f'ler, Ash "coping-shtone" to all this talk and toddy, As shequel to thish patr'otic stir, I'm going to amneshty--yesh, _everybody!_ Wha' shay, dear ROMANOFF, will you do same? Jush show, y' know, that thersh no animoshity! _Tzar_ (_aside_). Oh, _that_ is the Republic's little game? Russia can't stand _that_ form of reciprocity! (_Aloud._) All ri', ole f'ler, you jush leave that to _Me!_ Mosh noble notion, that shame "coping-shtone!" By way, ole f'ler, talking of amneshty-- _Could you just 'blige me with a trifling Loan?_ * * * * * THE PROFESSION OF--JOURNALISM. (_An Entirely Imaginary Letter._) Dear MR. B-CH-N-N,--Our famous Third Page rather dull lately. Couldn't you enliven it up by one of your characteristic letters--say on "The Profession of Literature"? Say all the old things about its degrading effect on those who follow it, including yourself--the public loves to see a vivisection in public--and be sure to spice it well with distinguished names, such as SW-NB-RN-, R-SS-TT-, etc. Any depreciatory anecdotes would be very telling, and serve to evoke indignant _free_ replies from those who wouldn't guess they were jumping to a prepared bait. I shall count on you for a column. Yours faithfully, THE EDITOR OF THE ----. P.S.--Of course you will be insulted at the usual rate.--ED. [_Result--the usual one on the famous Third Page._ * * * * *