Just as we begin to know _We_ can drive the frisky mare-- Bump! Crash! "Mind your eye!" "Take care!" Out we go! Just as we begin to know We are bound to head the poll-- "Whew! Too bad, upon my soul!" Out we go. Just as we begin to know In our boy's heart we've a place-- Ah! here comes Miss PRETTYFACE! Out we go. Just as we begin to know How to fight this world of sin-- Ugh! the doctor bustles in. Out we go. * * * * * TO HER MOTHER. Oh, you meddlesome old lady! "Tête and Braidy" Is a pun-- Not my own but how I've said that Of your head that Spoilt the fun! And you had a splendid chance to At that dance too. How I shun Plaited hair like yours, that popping In, and stopping, Spoilt the fun! I, not being like you wealthy Know the stealthy, Sneaking dun; Since my fortune is not grand, you Snubbed me, and you Spoilt the fun! When your daughter fancied flirting-- Was that hurting Anyone?-- And I helped her, she was not you. No, Great Scott! you Spoilt the fun! [Illustration] Undisturbed upon the staircase, Quite a rare case Finding none Others there, we sat so happy, But you, snappy, Spoilt the fun! When I thought I had a greater Chance to, later, Be your son. And she blushed and smiled so sweetly, You completely Spoilt the fun! Lastly I, in some secluded Spot, concluded I had won, Called her by her Christian name--and Still you came and Spoilt the fun! * * * * * THE LATEST PIECE OF NEWS _(at the Comedy)_.--_The New Woman_ and "The Old Woman" are very much alike; especially _The New Woman_. * * * * * ROBERT ON AMERRYCANS. What grand fellers them Amerrycans is! I have allers admired em since I fust made aquaintence with the real Gent as I used to wait upon at the Grand Otel at Cherring Cross, and he was a reel Gent if ever there was one! [Illustration]