Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, May 20, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, May 20, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, May 20, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Virginia._ Quite accidentally in Hyde Park. He told grandfather a long
story about a gold brick, and grandfather was so charmed with him he
asked him down at once for the week-end.
_Mrs. Maclaren._ Such a knowledge of character your grandfather has,
love.
_Virginia._ Yes, but you must remember he used to be the cleverest
criminal lawyer of his time. He saw directly that Mr. Jarvis was a nice
man.
[=Exeunt.=
=Enter _Ernest Heron_ and _"Grumpy"_ by opposite doors.=
_Grumpy_ _(when the audiences delight at seeing _Mr. CYRIL MAUDE_ again
has at last been got under)._ Wow-wow-wow-wow-wow; tut-tut-tut-tut-tut
(_and other old-gentleman noises_). Ah, Ernest, my boy, what are you
doing here?
_Ernest._ Just back from Africa, uncle, with a diamond weighing--I mean
costing--ninety thousand pounds in my belt, which I'm taking up to the
firm in London. May I sleep here?
_Grumpy._ Do, my boy. (=Enter _Mr. Jarvis._=) Ah, Mr. Jarvis, let me
introduce my nephew, Mr. Heron. He's just back from Africa with a----
(_To himself_) No, perhaps better not. Well, good night to you both.
Wow-wow-wow, tut-tut-tut-tut.
[=Exit, followed, by _Mr. Jarvis._=
=_Ernest_ is left alone with his diamond. Seeing a suspicious shadow at
the window he rushes to it and leans out, so as to give anybody a chance
of sand-bagging him. The chance going begging, he takes his diamond from
his belt to see if it is still there. The only other precaution he can
think of is to draw the curtains. At this moment a hand steals through
the door and turns out the lights. A terrible struggle in the dark
ensues; there is a noise of somebody's larynx going; and then the
curtain goes down and up ... to disclose, the body of poor _Ernest_ on
the floor. Is he dead? Certainly not; he's got to marry _Virginia_; but
the diamond is gone.=
Act II.--THE SLEUTH-HOUND.
=Time--Next morning.=
_Grumpy._ Tut-tut. Is everything just as it was last night? Very well,
then. You say that when you discovered Mr. Ernest he was lying on his
back, and in his right hand he was clutching this--what did you call it?
_Ruddock (the valet)._ A dicky, Sir. A detachable shirt-front.
_Grumpy._ Excellent. Then the first question is--to whom did
this--er--richard belong?
_Ruddock._ Yes, Sir.
_Grumpy (musing)._ Could it have been his own? In the fierceness of the
struggle might he have torn it off in order to give himself greater
freedom? Was he offering it to his assailant as a bribe? Was he--but
first we must find if he was wearing one at all. Call Susan.
=Enter _Susan,_ the lady's-maid.=
_Grumpy._ Susan, you were the first to see Mr. Ernest when he came in
last night. Did you happen to notice if he was wearing a detachable
shirt-front, a--h'm--dicky?
_Susan._ Yes, Sir.
_Grumpy._ Ah! (=He hands her the all-important clue.=) Was this it?
_Susan (=examining it=)._ No, Sir.
_Grumpy._ Tut-tut, are you sure?
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