"Oh, that will be all right!" he said; "I shall take a change of clothes and leave my uniform and rifle in the cloakroom at the frontier station, and get them out again on the way back." I saw he was in a mood for sweeping aside all difficulties and said no more. But later I had a new thought for him. "James," I said, "I should mention that little matter--about the three weeks' leave and the cloakroom at the frontier station and all that--to your Colonel soon, if I were you. He'll be busy out there, I dare say, and there will be no time for explanations. If you've prepared the ground, things will go smoother. You'll simply say, 'You remember you said you'd give me three weeks' leave on this date, Sir,' and he'll say, 'All right,' and go on with the battle, and you'll march off. Only," I added, "let me be there, James, when you make your original request." * * * * * The KAISER'S Proclamation (Aix-la-Chapelle) ordered the Germans to concentrate their attention on the "treacherous English." We have received several indignant protests from Scotland about the use of the word "English" in place of "British." * * * * * Illustration: HOW THE CUBIST, BY A MERE ALTERATION OF TITLES, ACHIEVED A READY SALE OF UNMARKETABLE PICTURES. * * * * * AT THE "PLOUGH AND HORSES." "What's this we 'ear, Bill? Pleeceman been plaguin' of you to 'list, that it?" "Pleeceman, 'e says to me, 'You 'aven't a wife and you 'aven't a child, nor you 'aven't no old mother dependin' on you....'" "Pleeceman 'e did stop you then?" "Pleeceman's a sight too busy sometimes." "Thinks this new army depends on 'im and 'im alone." "Took all the trouble to come after me, 'e did." "Matter of three-quarter-of-a-mile?" "All of that." "Must 'ave felt yourself a bit important like." "That's right. Uphill all the way to our place, it is, an' Pleeceman 'e fair lost 'is wind. Pleeceman 'e look very fierce--'tis the uniform as does it, you don't deceive me. Pleeceman 'e says, 'That's right, my fine fellow; you sit at 'ome in your easy-chair,' 'e says, 'snoring o' nights on your feather bed, while the brave chaps as is gone to the front lie on planks o' wood an' eat their soup without so much as a spoon, for the sake o' them who won't bestir theirselves though the trumpet calls.'" "Pleeceman seems to think our friend 'ere's mighty particular." "That's 'is idea o' bein' sarcastic like. Pleeceman'll play that game once too often for the good o' 'is 'ealth." "Pleeceman, I reckon, would 'ave been real proud if 'e could 'ave got a fine young chap like you to fight for KING GEORGE." "Pleeceman 'e says to me--when 'e come up to our place all 'urry-scurry to see after me goin' forth again the enemy--'e says, 'A man as _is_ a man 'as got to put 'is 'and to the plough now an' save 'is country, while yet there is time.'" "Pleeceman 'e talks wild when 'e's excited."