HIGH CLASS SOCIAL PRIVILEGES.--THE EXCLUSIVE SOCIETY INTRODUCTION SYNDICATE beg to direct the attention of enterprising and ambitious aspirants to the advantages of an introduction to various social privileges of a High Class and Exclusive character, to the fact that the following "items," that have been carefully thought out, and priced according to scale, conformably with the present condition of the social market, are now offered for their consideration:-- £ _s._ _d._ Invitation and admission to a "crush" in the neighbourhood of Belgrave Square (without introduction to Host or Hostess) 21 0 0 Ditto, ditto, (with introduction) 31 10 0 Ditto, ditto, at Bayswater, or West Kensington 1 11 6 Five o'clock tea, including introduction to Leading Actor, Royal Academician, Distinguished Literary Man, or other celebrity 10 10 0 Same privilege enjoyed at select little dinner-party of eight 26 5 0 Other "Social Privileges" provided according to the special requirements of the case. Underbred people, with no position, but possessing means, may be launched under the protection of carefully selected Chaperons, into the very best Society, on applying personally to the Manageress. * * * DINING WITH A DUCHESS.--THE EXCLUSIVE SOCIETY INTRODUCTION SYNDICATE beg to inform their patrons and clients that their charge for satisfactorily securing them this eminent and obvious social advantage is, at the present moment, through the rare opportunity due to financial losses incurred recently by several distinguished Noble Families, only one hundred and fifty guineas. This sum does not include any personal introduction, but the latter may be arranged for with or without three minutes' conversation over a cup of tea later in the course of the evening by the payment of the comparatively small additional fee of fifty guineas extra. * * * * * [Illustration: IMITATION THE SINCEREST FLATTERY.] * * * * * "THE GIFT HORSE." Niver look a gift horse in the mouth? Moighty foine, But how if the crayture is not worth its kape? Faix, it isn't the nag for a stable o' moine. Oive doubts of its blood and oi don't loike its shape. What! we ought to accipt it and think it an honour? We moight do that same did we not know the donor! Oh, I grant ye it's big, and I grant ye it's bould, A blood-looking Bucephalus ivery inch; But its oi if ye look, Sorr, is cruel and could, And that big aff-hind leg has a fidgety flinch. Oi'd git out av the way av its heels moighty quick, For I fancy the baste has a botherin' kick!