May rise with it, at a prudent and a proper rate. Pooh! the pessimistic dreams of pragmatical Earl WEMYSS May well excite this sager Earl's derision. Forty Millions total profit! No, we are _not_ nearing Tophet, Any more than we are touching realms Elysian. Those on Co-Ops so sweet and shopkeepers need not treat Each other like the cats of old Kilkenny, From each other they might learn, live together and all turn, With sagacity and skill, an honest penny. There's no need for any gush, but "The Principle" will push As Lord ROSEBERY foreshadows to high places; And it was not all his fun when he hinted we might run Our Empire on co-operative bases! They who want to understand what is stirring in the land, Should peruse PRIMROSE'S pithiest of speeches, Meanwhile _Punch_ drinks good health to the "Labourer's Commonwealth," And long wear to those Co-operative Breeches! * * * * * WEEK BY WEEK. _Monday._--Preparing for the Derby. Mr. STANLEY goes out of his way to meet Lord SALISBURY. Lord SALISBURY goes out of Mr. H. M. S's. way. _Tuesday._--More preparations for Derby. _Wednesday._--The Derby. _Mr. Punch_ out for the day. Party at Foreign Office to meet Mr. STANLEY unavoidably postponed. _Thursday._--Trying to recover from Derby Day. _Friday._--Private Eclipse of the Sun. For tickets to view, inquire at Timekeeper's Office, Charing Cross. Only a limited number will be issued. _Saturday._--Lord SALISBURY'S first dance to meet Mr. STANLEY. * * * * * SOCIAL festivities which were much disturbed by the Whitsuntide holidays, have now been resumed in all their splendour. The Mile End Athenaeum yesterday held their annual reception in the palatial institution designed for the accommodation of the intellectual _elite_ of the district. The rooms were crowded from an early hour. Proceedings began with an address on "The AEsthetic Position of Mile End," delivered by the President. This was followed by some graceful step-dancing, executed by two stars from the neighbouring Hall of Variety. Later on the guests, having, as is usual, exchanged over-coats, and tossed with the Club halfpenny for umbrellas, separated to their homes. * * * * * Lady CLEMENTINA CROPPER has issued cards for a musical evening at which all the most eminent performers are expected. The Whistling Quintette and the Whispering Choir have been engaged. Her Ladyship's parties are famous for the animation and brilliancy of their conversation. * * * * *