_Friendly Visitor_. I understand your family Call it "The Changeling." Why so? The family likeness _all_ must see. (It squints with the left eye so!) _Fond Mother_. Oh! there are always _some_ cross things In _every_ Family Party. _Your_ mother's heart has felt such stings! (She'll think of JOE and HARTY!) _Friendly Visitor_. Well, well, with my advice, my dear, And lots of Liberal Tonic, Your child we possibly may rear. (That's one for Old Sardonic!) _Fond Mother_. Oh! really you are quite _too_ kind! Your own "Home-Rule Elixir" Unfailing for your babes you find? (Fancy _that_ dart will fix her!) _Friendly Visitor_. You see we breed, and nurse, our own; _We_ do not steal or borrow. However, dear, I must be gone. (To call again to-morrow!) _Fond Mother_. What! must you go? Next, time no doubt. You'll give more Liberal measure. Nurse G. shall see you safely out, (With most particular pleasure!) _Friendly Visitor_. Don't trouble, dear! The bell I'll pull, And, bid them call my cabby! Good bye! The Babe's be-you-ti-ful! (_A Flabby, Dabby, Babby!!!_) * * * * * ABOUT THE LAST OF IT. DEAR MR. PUNCH,--Would you kindly suggest to Mr. CALDERON, in the interest of Historical and religious Art, that he should give us for next year's Academy, as companion-picture to his "_St. Elizabeth," "Cardinal Wolsey, in his old age, left naked to his enemies._"--Yours, _artfully_, A SHAKSPEARIAN READER, BUT NO LATIN SCHOLAR. * * * * * [Illustration: A PARLIAMENTARY ASIDE. FRIENDLY VISITOR (_effusively_). "IT IS INDEED A BE-UTIFUL CHE-ILD! (_Aside._) _FLABBY, DABBY BABBY!!_"] * * * * * "KNOWLEDGE IS INVALUABLE!" SCENE--_Royal Commission of the Future. Commissioners present. Last Witness under examination._ _Chairman_. And now, my lad, you have learned everything. _Witness_ (_modestly_). Yes, my Lord and Gentlemen, up to a certain point. _Chairman_. Quite so--you have, generally speaking, an education rather better than an average City Clerk? _Witness_ (_in the same modest tone_). So I am given to understand. _Chairman_. What is your father? _Witness_. An artisan. But pardon me, I think I can anticipate and answer the next question. I am entirely unfit to follow my parent's calling--physically and morally. My frame has been weakened by study, and my education prevents--. _Chairman_ (_interrupting_). Just so. We can hardly expect a lad of fourteen who is good enough to floor the London matriculation taking to bricklaying? (_Murmurs of general assent_.) Well, my boy, have you tried to get a clerkship? _Witness_. Alas! yes, indeed I have, my Lord and Gentlemen. I have tried everywhere to obtain employment, but without success.