SCENE--_As before, a Railway-carriage in a suburban morning train to London. Persons also as before--namely, two_ Well-informed Men, _an_ Inquirer, _and an_ Average Man. _First Well-informed Man_ (_laying down his paper_). So the Government's going to stick to Uganda, after all. I had a notion, from the beginning, they wouldn't be allowed to scuttle. _Average Man._ Ah--I don't know that I'm particularly enthusiastic about Uganda. _Inquirer._ Why not? _A. M._ What are we going to get out of it?--that's the question. We go interfering all over the world, grabbing here, and grabbing there, merely in order to keep other people out; and then some nigger King, with a cold in his head, sneezes as he passes the Union Jack. That's an insult to the flag, of course; so off goes an expedition, and, before you know where you are, we've spent about ten millions, and added a few thousand acres of swamp to the Empire. Why can't we leave things alone? Haven't we got enough? _First W. I. M._ That's all very well, I daresay; but you forget that the Berlin Conference made Uganda one of our spheres of influence. _Inquirer._ When was that? _First W. I. M._ Why, just after the Franco-Prussian War. They all met in Berlin to settle up everything--and we got Uganda. _Inquirer._ I thought it was later than that, somehow. _First W. I. M._ Well, anyhow, it was somewhere about that time. I don't pledge myself to a year or two. But what I say about Uganda is this. We're there--or rather the Company is--and we should simply disgrace ourselves before the whole world if we chucked up the sponge now. And, if we did, we should have France or Germany nipping in directly. _Second W. I. M._ They can't. _First W. I. M._ Why not? _Second W. I. M._ Why not! Because it's our sphere of influence whatever happens. _Inquirer_ (_timidly_). I'm afraid you'll think me very ignorant, but I don't quite know what a "sphere of influence" is. I've read a lot about it lately, but I can't quite make it out. _Second W. I. M._ (_condescendingly_). Yes, I know it's deuced difficult to keep up with these new notions, unless you're in the way of hearing all about them. Spheres of influence mean--well, don't you know, they mean some country that's not quite yours, but it's more yours than anybody else's, and if anybody else comes into it, you're allowed to make a protocol of it. Besides, it gives you a right to the Hinterland, you know. _Inquirer_ (_dubiously_). Ah, I see. What's the Hinterland? _Second W. I. M._ (_stumped_). I fancy it's about the most fertile part of Africa. (_To First W. I. M._) Isn't it? _First W. I. M._ Yes, that's it. It's the German for Highlands. _Inquirer._ Of course, so it is. I might have thought of that.