England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Short stories, English
"I've known you longer than your god-parents had when they took the
liberty of calling you that name. Scandal is merely the compassionate
allowance which the gay make to the humdrum. Think how many blameless
lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretions of other people. Tell
me, who is the woman with the old lace at the table on our left? Oh,
_that_ doesn't matter; it's quite the thing nowadays to stare at people
as if they were yearlings at Tattersall's."
"Mrs. Spelvexit? Quite a charming woman; separated from her husband"--
"Incompatibility of income?"
"Oh, nothing of that sort. By miles of frozen ocean, I was going to say.
He explores ice-floes and studies the movements of herrings, and has
written a most interesting book on the home-life of the Esquimaux; but
naturally he has very little home-life of his own."
"A husband who comes home with the Gulf Stream _would_ be rather a tied-
up asset."
"His wife is exceedingly sensible about it. She collects postage-stamps.
Such a resource. Those people with her are the Whimples, very old
acquaintances of mine; they're always having trouble, poor things."
"Trouble is not one of those fancies you can take up and drop at any
moment; it's like a grouse-moor or the opium-habit--once you start it
you've got to keep it up."
"Their eldest son was such a disappointment to them; they wanted him to
be a linguist, and spent no end of money on having him taught to
speak--oh, dozens of languages!--and then he became a Trappist monk. And
the youngest, who was intended for the American marriage market, has
developed political tendencies, and writes pamphlets about the housing of
the poor. Of course it's a most important question, and I devote a good
deal of time to it myself in the mornings; but, as Laura Whimple says,
it's as well to have an establishment of one's own before agitating about
other people's. She feels it very keenly, but she always maintains a
cheerful appetite, which I think is so unselfish of her."
"There are different ways of taking disappointment. There was a girl I
knew who nursed a wealthy uncle through a long illness, borne by her with
Christian fortitude, and then he died and left his money to a swine-fever
hospital. She found she'd about cleared stock in fortitude by that time,
and now she gives drawing-room recitations. That's what I call being
vindictive."
"Life is full of its disappointments," observed the Duchess, "and I
suppose the art of being happy is to disguise them as illusions. But
that, my dear Reginald, becomes more difficult as one grows older."
"I think it's more generally practised than you imagine. The young have
aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what
never happened. It's only the middle-aged who are really conscious of
their limitations--that is why one should be so patient with them. But
one never is."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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