Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“Yes. He gave Miss Kay a home when everything went smash. That’s how I
come to be here. I could have stopped at Midways if I’d of liked,” she
said. “The new people who took the place would have kept me on if I’d of
wanted. But I said, ‘No,’ I said. ‘I’m going with Miss Kay,’ I said.
‘I’m not going to desert her in her mis-for-chewn,’ I said.”
Sam started violently.
“You don’t mean--you can’t mean--you don’t mean she lives here?”
“Of course she does.”
“Not actually lives here--not in this very house?”
“Certainly.”
“My gosh!”
Sam quivered from head to foot. A stupendous idea had come to him.
“My gosh!” he cried again, with bulging eyes. Then, with no more
words--for it was a time not for words but for action--he bounded from
the room.
To leap out of the front door and clatter down the steps to the board
which stood against the fence was with Sam the work of a moment. Beneath
the large letters of the To Let, Furnished, he now perceived other
smaller letters informing all who might be interested that applications
for the tenancy of that desirable semi-detached residence, Mon Repos,
should be made to Messrs. Matters & Cornelius, House Agents, of Ogilvy
Street, Valley Fields, S. E. He galloped up the steps again and beat
wildly upon the door.
“Now what?” inquired Claire.
“Where is Ogilvy Street?”
“Up the road, first turning to the left.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Out on the gravel, he paused, pondered and returned.
“Back again?” said Claire.
“Did you say left or right?”
“Left.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” said Claire.
This time Sam performed the descent of the steps in a single leap. But
reaching the gate, he was struck by a thought.
“Fond of exercise, aren’t you?” said Claire patiently.
“Suddenly occurred to me,” explained Sam, “that I’d got no money.”
“What do you want me to do about it?”
“These house-agent people would expect a bit of money down in advance,
wouldn’t they?”
“Sounds possible. Are you going to take a house?”
“I’m going to take Mon Repos,” said Sam. “And I must have money. Where’s
Mr. Braddock?”
“In bed.”
“Where’s his room?”
“Top floor back.”
“Thanks.”
“Dee-lighted,” said Claire.
Her statement that the guest of the house was in bed proved accurate.
Sam, entering the apartment indicated, found his old school friend lying
on his back with open mouth and matted hair. He was snoring
rhythmically. On a chair at his side stood a tray containing a teapot,
toast and a cold poached egg of such raffish and leering aspect that
Sam, moving swiftly to the dressing table, averted his eyes as he
passed.
The dressing table presented an altogether more pleasing picture. Heaped
beside Mr. Braddock’s collar box and hair-brushes was a small mountain
of notes and silver--a fascinating spectacle with the morning sunshine
playing on them. With twitching fingers, Sam scooped them up; and
finding pencil and paper, paused for a moment, seeking for words.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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