French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
As soon as Annette's condition began to be visible, Sylvie obliged her
sister to move away from Paris. It was the beginning of autumn; before
long her friends would be coming back from their vacations. Surprisingly
enough, Annette offered no resistance. She was not afraid of public
opinion, but anything that might mean discord just now would have been
intolerable to her; nothing must disturb her harmony!
She allowed herself to be conducted by Sylvie to a place on the Côte
d'Azure, but she did not stay there. It offered her no peaceful
seclusion. The neighborhood of the sea made her feel uncomfortable.
Annette was a landswoman. She could marvel at the ocean, but she could
not live on familiar terms with it. She submitted to the powerful
fascination of its breath, but this breath was not beneficial to her. It
reawoke in her too many hidden anxieties; it aroused what she did not
wish to be conscious of . . . not yet, not now. . . . There are beings
whom we do not love because, they say, we are afraid to love them. (Does
that mean we do love them?) Annette fought against the sea because she
was fighting against herself, against a dangerous Annette from whom she
was trying to escape. . . .
She set out again northward, to the neighborhood of the Savoyard lakes,
and took quarters for the winter in a little town at the foot of the
mountains. Sylvie was only informed after she was settled. Kept in Paris
by her work, she could only make her sister brief, occasional visits,
and it troubled her to know that Annette was alone in this forsaken
spot. But Annette, during this time, could not be alone enough, nor
could the spot be sufficiently forsaken. She would have found a
hermitage delightful. The richer her inner life was, the more need she
felt for a clear, soundless atmosphere. She did not suffer, as Sylvie
supposed, from being abandoned to strange hands in her condition. In the
first place, she had so much affection to give that no one seemed to her
a stranger, and, as sympathy attracts sympathy, she did not long remain
a stranger to anyone else. It was not that the country-people, who had
little curiosity, put themselves out to know her. They bowed back and
forth, exchanged a few cordial words as they passed, or from their
doorsteps or over the hedges. They wished each other well. Probably in
case of need she could not have counted too far on this good will, but,
such as it was, it still meant a good deal in the daily round. The days
were lighter for it. Annette found the cool kindness of these good
souls, of whom she knew nothing and who left her alone, more to her
taste than the tyrannical exactions of relatives and friends who assume
over us the rights of heavy-handed guardians.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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