"He did curl it when I was little," she replied, "but I am now grown up. He thinks I can take care of it myself." *CAME DOWN HARD* Freddie is a boy of five years and he has a little brother who is just beginning to walk. The younger brother’s name is Frank and while Freddie likes him in a certain way, his nose has been rather out of joint since his arrival. The other day he said to his mother: "Ma, did our baby come right from heaven?" "Yes, my son," replied the mother. "Well, then," said the young hopeful, "I guess he must have lit on his feet; that’s what makes him so bow-legged." *KNEW HIS FATHER* A boy was asked by his teacher, if his father borrowed from him one hundred dollars and promised to pay him back at the rate of ten dollars per week, how much would his father owe him at the of seven weeks. The boy told the teacher one hundred dollars. "What!" said the teacher, "after seven weeks! From that, Johnny, I see you know nothing about arithmetic." "I may not know anything about arithmetic, teacher," said the boy, "but I know my father." *PHILADELPHIA BLOOD* A story is told of an old lady who has lived all her life in Walnut Street, as have generations of her family before her. The other day she is said to have consulted a young physician fresh from his honors at the University of Pennsylvania. "What do you think is the matter with me?" asked the lady. "I am inclined to think that your blood is not pure, madam. I’ll have to give you something to purify it." "Sir!" said the old lady with dignity, "you are probably not aware that I belong to one of the oldest families in Philadelphia." *SOUTHERN CHIVALRY* He was an old negro who had imbibed some of the traditional Southern politeness. He was sitting in a crowded car when a lady entered it and looked about for a seat. He immediately arose and, bowing, offered her his place. Scanning his spare figure and white hair, she said: "But I do not wish to deprive you of your seat." With chivalrous tone and a deep bow he replied: "There’s no depravity, madam, no depravity." *KNEW HER TOUCH* The story is told of a citizen of a small town in Pennsylvania who, in the early days of the telephone, walked into a country store where he saw the instrument suspended from the wall. Upon being told what it was, he said he would like to talk to his wife whom he had left in a rage some hours before. He picked up the receiver, rang the bell, and said to "Central": "I want to talk to Sarah." At that moment a severe storm broke over the wires and knocked the man down. As he picked himself up, he said: "I know that’s Sarah. I can tell her every time." *THE CHINESE RETORT*