An old negro in a South Carolina town was arrested for stealing chickens, and as he bore a rather bad reputation it was quite hard to secure counsel for him. At last a young lawyer, who had known Rastus for a long time, took his case, to the great joy of the old fellow. At his trial the judge asked him: "Are you the defendant?" The old fellow was perplexed for a moment, and then replied: "No, sah, dat’s de defendant, sah," pointing proudly to his counsel, "I’se de man wot stole de chickens." *WEATHER INFLUENCES* Two young lawyers, both trying to make reputations as orators, happened to be pitted against each other in argument. Both spoke at great length, and in closing the second speaker remarked that he was sorry to find his brother on the wrong side, for there was every reason why they should agree. "We were raised together, we studied together, we were born on the same day." "Did I understand you to say that you were born on the same day?" questioned a listener. "Yes," came the prompt reply. "On the very same day?" "Yes, sir." "Then it must have been a very windy day." *HE FOUND A BETTER PLACE* Mark Twain, while at his summer residence, prepared one evening to take a drive, and expecting to remain out until late, told the stable boy that he need not wait for him. He directed the fellow, however, when he had finished his work to lock the stable and place the key under a stone, the location of which Mr. Clemens described with much exactness. When the humorist reached home after his drive, he was surprised to find that the key was not in the place selected. When his patience had been exhausted, he awoke the boy, who explained, as he started out to find the missing key: "Mr. Clemens, I found a better place to hide it!" *NOT WORTH THE PRICE* At a club in Washington one evening a justice of the Supreme Court was introduced to a well-known New York business man who is given to boasting of the large income he enjoys. With the apparent purpose of impressing those about him, the New Yorker remarked that, as nearly as he could tell, his income exceeded $100,000. "I must make as much as that," said he. "Why it costs me $80,000 a year to live." "Dear me," remarked the justice blandly. "Really, that’s too much! I wouldn’t pay it--it isn’t worth it!" *THE BAD BOY IN THE BACK SEAT* A teacher in one of the schools near Philadelphia had one day been so much disturbed by the buzzing of lips and shuffling of feet of the children that she was on the verge of distraction. Finally she said, "Children, I cannot stand so much noise. Please be quiet for a little while, at least. Let me see if you can’t be so still that you could hear a pin drop." Instantly every child became as still as a mouse, and the solemnity continued until a little boy in a back seat piped out, with marked impatience: "Well, let her drop!"