*NATURE NO RESPECTER OF DAYS* There is an excellent old lady, a strong advocate of the enforcement of the Blue Laws, who is very fond of the good things of the table, and for this reason she does her own marketing. One Monday morning found her, bright and early, selecting some fine pears from her marketman. "Are you sure," she asked, "that these pears were not picked on Sunday?" "I don’t know ’bout that," said the man, with a grin, "but I do know they growed on Sunday." *WHAT THE AIR LACKS* It is said that Dr. S. Weir Mitchell, returning late from a party in a neighboring city, once awakened his son to tell him a story he thought too good to keep till morning. A lady had been introduced to him, and, considering him scientific man, wished to direct her conversation accordingly. "Doctor," said she, "don’t you think the cause of so much sickness is the want of sozodont in the air?" *CONSOLED* While speeding along the pike in his automobile, McC---- saw a man and a dog far ahead of him, the dog running in and out of the bushes. As he whizzed past a moment later the dog darted out ahead of the machine to bark at it, was run over, and instantly killed. McC---- stopped his machine and returned. "I’m very sorry, sir," he said consolingly to the man, "will that make it all right?" He held out a ten dollar bill. "It will," replied the man, coolly taking the money and putting it in his pocket. As the automobile flew down the road he looked sympathetically at the remains and soliloquized: "Poor little devil! I wonder whose dog it was?" *FAVORED HIGH SALARIES* A country minister was one day talking to one of his flock who ventured the opinion that ministers ought to be better paid. "I am glad to hear you say that," the minister, "I am pleased that you think so much of the clergy; and so you think we should have bigger stipends?" "Yes," said the old man, "ye see we’d get a better class of men." *AN ENERGETIC VIDOCQ* A man who was "wanted" by the police had been photographed in six different positions, and the pictures were duly circulated among the police. A few days after the set of portraits had been issued, the chief of police in a county town wrote to police headquarters of the city in search of the malefactor as follows: "I duly received the pictures of the six miscreants whose capture is desired. I have arrested five of them, and the sixth is under observation and will be secured shortly." *A LAWYER’S JOKE* Some time ago a well-known lawyer remitted in settlement of an account to the publisher of a paper in the West a two dollar bill which was returned with the brief statement: "This note is counterfeit; please send another." Two months passed before hearing from the lawyer again, when he apologized for the delay, saying: