After several interruptions of this kind, a very young man ascended the platform and began to speak, when again came the call for Mr. Henry. The chairman now arose and remarked that it would oblige the audience if the gentleman would refrain from any further calls, as Mr. Henry was now speaking. "Is that Mr. Henry?" cried the disturber of the meeting. "Why, that’s the little cuss that told me to holler!" *A PAT RETORT* A young Western man applied to Richard Olney, when Secretary of State, for the position of consul at one of the smaller Chinese ports. "Are you aware, Mr. Blank, that I never recommend to the President the appointment of a consul unless he speaks the language of the country to which he desires to go? Now, I suppose, you do not speak Chinese?" Whereupon the Westerner grinned broadly. "If, Mr. Secretary," said he, "you will ask me a question in Chinese, I shall be happy to answer it." He got the appointment. *THEORY AND PRACTICE* "There is a woman of my acquaintance," says a physician, "who has more ideas with respect to scientific hygiene than has a whole colony of physicians. She is unmistakably ’up’ on microbes and bacteria. "A friend was one day engaged in conversation with this lady, which incidentally touched upon her hobby, when the little girl of the household appeared. "’Mamma,’ said she, ’I would like to go over to Katharine’s for a minute.’ "’And why?’ asked the mother. "’Oh,’ explained the scientifically reared youngster to the utter horror of her careful mother, ’I lent her my chewing gum yesterday, and now I want it myself.’" *AS HE UNDERSTOOD IT* "During the taking of a religious census of the District of Columbia one winter," relates a Representative from Tennessee, "a couple of young ladies who were engaged in the work stopped at my home on Capitol Hill, and when the bell rang it was answered by the negro boy I brought from Tennessee with me. One of the ladies asked him: "’Will you please tell me who lives here?’ "’Yessum; Mistah Johnsing,’ was the answer. "’Is he a Christian?’ "’No, ma’am. He’s er Congressman from Tennersee.’" *"OF COURSE"* A husband had given his wife a sum of money and shown her how to deposit it in the bank, and how to pay her little bills thereafter with checks. About a month later she came to him in a high state of indignation. "Harry," she said, "the other day the bank sent me a note saying I had overdrawn my account and they wanted five dollars and a quarter to balance it. I sent it to them right away, but they were not satisfied. They are still bothering me." "You say you sent the five and a quarter?" "I did, that very day," said she. "That’s strange," he commented; "how did you send it?" "Why, I sent them a check, of course." *HOW TO FOOL THEM*