The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm — John Shaqi
The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
“There can be no mistake!” he shouted enthusiastically. “The only
mistake possible is not to take advantage of this magnificent
opportunity while it is yet possible to do so. Just observe that view!”
He waved his arm in the general direction of the horizon from northwest
to southeast. “Breathe this air! As a personal favor to me just breathe
a little of this air!” He inhaled deeply himself as though to show me
how, and I followed suit, because after that ride I needed to catch up
with my regular breathing.
“Thank you!” I said gratefully when I had finished breathing. “But how
about----”
“Quite right!” he cried, beaming upon me admiringly. “Quite right! I
don't blame you. You have a right to know all the details. As a business
man you should ask that question. You were about to say: But how about
the train service? Ah, there spoke the true business man, the careful
investor! Twenty fast trains a day each way--twenty, sir! Remember! And
as for accessibility--well, accessibility is simply no name for it! Only
two or three minutes from the station. You saw how long it took us to
get here to-day? Well, then, what more could you ask? Right here,” he
went on, pointing, “is the country club--a magnificent thing!”
I looked, but I didn't see anything except a hole in the ground about
fifty feet from us.
“Where?” I asked. “I don't see it.”
“Well,” he said, “this is where it is going to be. You automatically
become a member of the country club; in fact, you are as good as a
member now! And right up there at the corner of Lincoln Boulevard and
Washington Parkway, where that scraper is, is the public library--the
site for it! You'll be crazy about the public library! When we get back
I'll let you run over the plans for the public library while I'm fixing
up the papers. Oh, 'my friend, how glad I am you came while there was
yet time!”
I breasted the roaring torrent of his pouring language.
“One minute,” I begged of him--“One minute, if you please! I am obliged
to you for the interest you take in me, a mere stranger to you; but
there has been a misunderstanding. I wanted to see the Prewitt place.”
“This is the Prewitt place,” he said.
“Yes,” I said; “but where is the house? And why all this--why all
these-” I indicated by a wave of my hand what I meant.
“Naturally,” he explained, “the house is no longer here. We tore it
away--it was old; whereas everything here will be new, modern and
up-to-date. This is--or was--the Prewitt place, now better known as
Homecrest Heights, the Development Ideal!” Having begun to capitalize
his words, he continued to do so. “The Perfect Addition! The Suburb
Superb! Away From the City's Dust and Heat! Away From Its Glamor and
Clamor! Into the Open! Into the Great Out-of-Doors! Back to the Soil!
Villa Plots on Easy Terms! You Furnish the Birds, We Furnish the Nest!
The Place For a Business Man to Rear His Family! You Are Married? You
Have a Wife? You Have Little Ones?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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